My eyes never left the clock. I’d been ready for over an hour, my excitement so all-consuming that I could barely sit still. Michael and I had things to talk about and problems we would have to work through, but I couldn’t wait to see him again. His Christmas gifts were the only ones left under my tree. I imagined us having an amazing dinner, coming back to my place to open presents, and then talking into the night. Things wouldn’t be perfect. We would have to move slowly, but I felt lighter than air as I paced around my living room and waited for him to arrive.
We planned to meet after Michael left work. He promised to pick me up around five-thirty. We’d grab some food and talk. It was a simple plan, but it was a plan nonetheless. So, when eight o’clock rolled around and I still hadn’t heard from him, my excitement turned to anger.
I tried to call him three times in those three hours. His phone rang the first time, then sent me to voicemail. The next time, it went straight to voicemail. On the third try, I left him an angry message.
“Michael,” I said. “I don’t know what game you’re playing, but you’re a world-class asshole for pulling this! I’ve been waiting for you for three hours! You haven’t even called or texted. At first, I was worried that something happened to you, but now I know you’re just a horrible person.”
I hung up and threw my phone across the room. Without thinking, I grabbed my coat and my keys and hurried outside. A drive would clear my head and help me move past all this anger. As I climbed behind the wheel, I realized there was only one place I wanted to go. I put the car in drive and sped through town until I reached Michael’s property.
All the lights were off in his house. His car was nowhere to be found. I thought about getting out anyway. Banging on the door would release some of my frustrations. Eventually, I just drove home, feeling defeated and miserable.
How could he do this to me? After everything we’d already been through, for him to stand me up without so much as a text message was unforgivable. I couldn’t believe I’d let myself believe he was a good man. I pushed aside my worries and doubts to make things work between us. I was trying to forgive him for all the lies, and still, he couldn’t be bothered to show up.
I was so angry that I could barely see straight. When I got back home, my phone was still sitting on the floor where I threw it. I grabbed it, frantically unlocking the screen to see if Michael called while I was gone. He didn’t. There was nothing but a blank screen staring back at me.
I called him again. This time, I didn’t leave a message. I heard his voicemail pick up, and I hung up without a second thought. I called Andrea next. She, unlike Michael, answered on the second ring.
“What’s up?” Andrea asked. “I thought tonight was your big date with Michael.”
“He never showed,” I said.
“What?”
Andrea agreed to come over and spend the night with me. I didn’t want to be alone. If I was, I knew I’d spend all night obsessing over Michael. I’d already called him four times. The last thing I needed to do was blow up his phone even more, especially since he obviously didn’t want anything to do with me.
When Andrea finally arrived, she immediately pulled me to the couch and made me tell her everything.
“There’s not much to tell,” I said. “I called him last night to talk about things. It was a hard conversation, but it helped. I missed him, and he missed me. Or, so I thought.”
“So, he just never showed up?” Andrea asked. “He didn’t call or text or—”
“Nothing.” I shook my head. “I can’t believe I was so stupid. I should have known better than to trust him again.”
“Did you try to call him?” Andrea asked.
“Of course,” I said. “Four times.”
“Are you sure he’s okay?” Andrea’s eyes narrowed nervously. I could tell she didn’t want to make me angry, but she had to ask the question.
“I’m sure he’s fine,” I said with a sigh. “He probably just had second thoughts and bailed. I went by his house, but he wasn’t home. My guess is, he went to Dallas for the night. He’s probably up there drinking with Joshua or something equally disturbing.”
“I can’t believe this…” Andrea trailed off, shaking her head in disgust. “I really thought he was a good guy. He seemed to care about you so much.”
“They all do at first,” I said. “Then, they pull something like this, and we finally see who they really are.”
Andrea nodded, but she didn’t seem convinced. If anything, she looked more skeptical than ever. When she opened her mouth to speak again, I gave her a warning look. I didn’t need anyone to defend Michael tonight. No explanation could possibly be good enough for what he did. After days of not speaking to each other, after lies and secrets, we were finally going to move forward. We were all set to start over and then he stood me up and ruined everything.
“What should we do tonight?” Andrea asked. “Drinks? Food? Movies?”
“All of the above,” I said. I smile
d gratefully as Andrea sprang into action.
She went into the kitchen to grab us each a beer. Then she ordered a pizza and fired up Netflix. We browsed through the movies for a long time, laughing at the ridiculous titles and storylines. After we finally chose a movie, the pizza arrived. We were each three beers in already.
Drinking wasn’t the answer to all my problems, but for one night, it certainly helped numb the pain. Every time Michael popped into my head, I took a swig of my beer to push him away again. It wasn’t until Andrea and I were both drunk and full on pizza that I couldn’t fight the thoughts any longer.
I saw his face in my head, smiling at me with those dark blue eyes locked on my face. He was walking toward me, his fingers outstretched. When he touched my face, I could have sworn he was real. It felt like he was in my living room, stroking my cheek and leaning in for a soft kiss. Our lips touched, and just like that, reality settled in around me.