I didn’t say anything. I just glared until he walked through the front door. My fists were still clenched at my sides when I heard his engine rev. It wasn’t until I was sure he was gone that I finally relaxed.
I grabbed my phone and dialed Julie’s number without thinking. She was the only person I wanted to talk to. She was the only person who would understand my anger at Josh. But she didn’t pick up.
I felt alone and defeated as I laid my phone back down on the couch. Julie was spending time with her family. She didn’t want to hear from me. She probably didn’t even want to see me. And now, I’d lost my brother, too.
It was as if I couldn’t win. Nothing was going right. Later that night, I thought about calling Julie again. I even managed to convince myself that she would pick up this time, but I didn’t take the chance. Instead, I curled into a ball on my couch and fell asleep.
CHAPTER 27
JULIE
The sun woke me the next morning but, seconds later, the sound of toddler squeals filled my ears. I rolled onto my side just in time for my bedroom door to burst open. Layla sprung inside and bounced on my bed, landing heavily on my stomach.
“Ouch.” I laughed. “Be careful with Aunt Julie. I’m fragile.”
“It’s Kissmas!” Layla said. “Santa came!”
“He did?” I asked. “Did he bring you presents?”
“Yeah!” Layla said. She bounced up and down.
When I looked up, Bethany was standing in my doorway. She grinned at me and came inside to sit on the edge of my bed.
“She wanted to wake you up before we went downstairs,” Bethany said. “You better hurry because she won’t wait much longer.”
“Well, let’s go!” I said.
Layla squealed and jumped to the floor. Bethany and I hurried after her, laughing and running to keep up.
“Wait!” Bethany called. “Let Mommy help you with the stairs.”
Layla barely slowed down, but Bethany grabbed her hand. They bounced down the stairs together, giggling the whole way.
My mom and dad were waiting for us in the living room. Bryan was making coffee in the kitchen, but he hurried over to watch his daughter open her gifts. We all sat around together, watching Layla rip open w
rapping paper and yell with delight as each present was revealed. There was nothing like watching a little kid open gifts on Christmas morning.
The morning flew by quickly. Layla finished opening her presents, and then the adults took turns. We all ate breakfast together and then got dressed for church. My mom insisted we all attend Christmas service together, and we knew better than to argue. By the time we got home, it was after lunch.
Everything happened so fast that I barely had a chance to think about Michael. It wasn’t until we ate dinner that I finally slowed down long enough to miss him. I made my way out back for some alone time.
I thought about the gifts I had for Michael under my tree. I never got the chance to give them to him. I’d spent days trying to find the perfect gifts and, now, Christmas was here, and I didn’t even get to see him.
“What are you thinking about?” Bethany asked as she came outside to join me.
“Michael,” I said simply.
“Still missing him?” Bethany asked.
“More than ever,” I said. “It’s Christmas. I just wish things could be different.”
“They can be,” Bethany said.
I nodded but didn’t say anything. Bethany was so sure that everything could be fixed. She tried to convince me that one phone call would solve all my problems. It felt naïve. Ridiculous. There was no way I could just pick up the phone and call Michael. Not after ignoring him for days.
“He wouldn’t want to talk to me,” I said. “Not now.”
“Didn’t he call you last night?” Bethany asked.