She shrugged. “Gut feeling.”
“Girls!” our mom’s voice called from downstairs. “Layla’s up from her nap!”
“Oh, crap.” Bethany groaned. “Already?”
“We should get down there anyway,” I said. “Mom wanted to bake cookies tonight.”
Bethany linked her arm with mine and led me out into the hall. We bounced our way downstairs just like we did as kids. After one conversation with my sister, I no longer felt like my world was crumbling around me. I felt stronger. More confident.
Still, I didn’t know what to do. My confusion was stronger than ever as I stepped into the kitchen. Mom had all the stuff ready to make cookies. We got to work while Andrea changed Layla and then brought her over to help us.
The four of us girls spent the rest of the evening baking and decorating cookies. We crowded around the kitchen table with icing and sprinkles scattered everywhere. Christmas music played in the background and, just like that, I was a kid again.
We all laughed and teased each other while we worked on the cookies. Layla giggled every time she snuck a bite of icing. Even my dad made his way over to help. It was amazing to just be in the moment with my family and let my problems disappear.
When I went to bed that night, I didn’t feel like crying. Michael’s face appeared in my mind, and I smiled to myself, remembering everything we’d done together. I replayed our conversations over and over again in my head. I could almost hear his voice. When I drifted off to sleep, my memories turned into dreams. I awoke the next morning flushed with desire and smiling.
It wasn’t until I realized I was only dreaming that the smile fell from my lips. I felt Michael’s absence stronger than ever, and I wondered if Bethany was right and I should call him.
CHAPTER 26
MICHAEL
Christmas Eve arrived, but I wasn’t yet ready to face my parents. They both knew about my breakup with Julie. If I went to their house, they would spend the entire day grilling me about what happened. Despite how much I wanted to see them for the holiday, I didn’t think I’d be able to handle getting the third degree. Not yet anyway.
Instead, I went for a quick jog around my property and then jumped in the shower. I still hadn’t heard from Julie, but I wasn’t going to give up on her. After she kicked me out of her house, I knew we both needed space to cool down. Tensions were high. Tempers were even higher. I wanted to make sure we were both calm the next time we spoke. Arguing would solve nothing.
It had been a couple of days, though, and, since it was Christmas Eve, I decided to try. I got dressed and grabbed Julie’s gift off my coffee table. I tucked it under my arm and walked out to my car. The air was cold, and it helped embolden me as I climbed behind the wheel. No matter what Julie said or did, I wanted to try. She was too important. I couldn’t just let her go without a fight.
When I pulled up in front of her house, all the lights were off, and her car was gone. The driveway was empty, but I got out anyway. With the crystal Christmas tree in my hands, I hurried toward the front door and knocked quickly. I stood back and waited, but after five minutes, I knew she wasn’t home.
“She went to her parents’ place,” someone called out from my left. I whipped my head around to see the same neighbor from Friday night. She was staring at me suspiciously. “She won’t be back for a few days.”
“Thank you,” I said with a nod.
“Shouldn’t you be with your family, young man?” the woman asked.
I ignored her and walked quickly back to my car. If Julie wasn’t home, then I wasn’t going to lurk outside of her house, and I definitely wasn’t going to engage in a conversation with her nosey neighbor.
I drove back to my house in a fog. On the way there, I thought about driving up to Dallas. I imagined how surprised she would be to see me there, but when I thought more about it, I knew it would be a mistake. She was enjoying the h
oliday with her family. The last thing I wanted to do was take that away from her.
Instead, I went back home to my empty house. When I stepped inside, I could practically hear my breath echo through the place. I’d never felt more alone in my life. With a sigh, I went into the living room and grabbed a book off the coffee table. If nothing else, I could spend the day relaxing.
My phone rang before I had a chance to read more than a page. I saw Josh’s name flash across the screen. I thought about ignoring it, letting it go to voicemail. I was still angry with my brother for everything he’d said to Julie. But it was Christmas Eve. And he was still my brother.
“Hey,” I said, pressing the phone to my ear. “Merry Christmas.”
“You too,” Josh said. His voice was guarded.
“What’s up?” I asked.
“I want to see you,” Josh said simply. “It’s Christmas Eve. Plus, I really think we should talk.”
“Yeah…” I trailed off. I knew Josh meant well, but the idea of seeing him made my stomach churn. I didn’t know if I was ready for that.
“Are you with your parents today?” Josh asked. “Because we can always meet up tomorrow or—”