I watch him walk toward an enormous hill, stunned by his nonchalance. It makes me wonder just how long he’s been here. “I’d follow me if I were you,” he says. “Not that you have much of a choice.”
Kalxor and I walk side by side, following my father to a place I probably shouldn’t visit. Every so often, I can feel his gaze fix on me, telling me to gaze back.
It’s difficult not to give into the urge, but I keep my eyes fixed on my father’s boots as they cower into tall grass.
Eventually, I have to look, and I instantly feel myself turn inward with rage.
“What do you want from me?” I ask Kalxor.
He never wanted to let me go. This much I know.
“I’m not real,” Kalxor says. “It doesn’t matter what I want.”
“Kalxor,” I whisper. “I’m sorry.”
He closes his eyes. “It’s like I said. It doesn’t matter.”
He’s right. It doesn’t matter. Because this simulation will eventually end. And when it does, I’ll be without him.
He won’t exist.
And I’ll be alone again.
10
Kalxor
There’s not much left for me here anymore.
I thought there was, but I was shown the bitter truth. Forced to drink it down like poison.
It's like her father said. I was the best candidate. Just enough alpha and stupid to pass the test with flying colors.
I want to love her, but I'm going to die, anyway. I always die. So, once that bastard sets up camp, I wait until they’re asleep. I leave, headed back to the forest I know too well.
I am lost, without a plan entirely. There is no outer realm to find, no inner truth to explore. There is only the wind.
Yes, I’m alone again, but that doesn’t mean I will end up the same way. I’m certain this is my last life. Things are different now, and whatever happens is permanent.
I find my craft with ease, but it’s not enough to satisfy the mystery of this place. There is nothing inside, no note from Elon, or clue of any kind.
I keep moving, running deeper into the darkest spot of that forest, a primal beast with nothing left to lose. The trees sway by my velocity, leaves rustling above my head. I have to focus, but I can’t stop myself.
It is only when I run out of breath am I forced on my knees. Standing before me is an unexpected sight, the edge of the forest, a solid perimeter of concrete. But there is one spot that is open.
An exit? Perhaps. Or another trap.
The dirt and pine turns to slick marble. An old abandoned escalator leads down into more darkness. Was Ava’s father right? Is this the escape I’ve been longing to find?
Without thinking, I step onto the first platform as gravity takes hold of me.
My surroundings change, I find myself in a sizable room full of humming boxes, computer servers that blink green and red. At first, I’m terrified, but as the fear goes away, I feel a sense of calm. The floors become smoother, and the noise of my footsteps slowly fades.
There are no people around me. Nothing to fear at all. The air is crisp and clean. I get a glimpse of what this place really is, a few machines that seem lifeless and inert.
I can’t get Ava’s scent out of my head. Real or not, my experience with her fucked me up good. She was given to me, not by a loving God, but by a snake for pleasure. How can someone be so cruel?
I still wish to feel the hot, wet skin of her body rising and falling against mine like the waves of the sea we vowed our love near. I won’t forget our moments. I’ll remember it, even in death.