As they stopped, there was a solemn feeling in the air. Virgil had calmed down, apologized, and awkwardly bowed in the friendliest way he could act. However, it was clear to her that it was that very thing, an act. They had spent over a full day in the caverns, and all of them had reached their limit. Perhaps, she thought, she was too stuck in her head. Maybe, Virgil would be as she thought he was, a friend and long-lasting companion.
The other alphas soon followed, creating a link together. Slowly, the sound of rushing water picked up in intensity. They lowered their bodies into the pool and, without another word of fear or expression of doubt, they disappeared into the warm sea.
For a long moment, Rae just floated. She never once let go of their hands, but the weightlessness of swimming caught her off guard. She opened her eyes and saw strange movements. Tentacles, spiky gills, and black teeth swirled around her. Was it her imagination? Possibly. But the images continued to manifest. Worst of all, she couldn’t swim.
“Help!”
Rae screamed and thrashed about, but the words came out in thick bubbles. The feeling reminded her of when she used to dream of running from Cassian. Sometimes, her feet felt as if stuck in quicksand. Yes, it was exactly like that. Only, she had the alphas to keep her on the path.
She closed her eyes and held her breath as one of the alphas brought her forward. Quicker than she expected, she was pulled up and out of the water. She nearly choked, but as soon as they climbed out, they were in a cement hallway, still underground but heavily lit with electrical lighting.
Virgil collapsed to his knees, wheezing as his chest pumped the air in his lungs. “This is it! We have made it!”
Vash rolled onto his back and started to laugh. The giggles carried outward until they were all rolling with hilarity. “Virgil, you scared me back there,” Rae said. “I thought you might turn on us.”
Virgil settled and squeezed the water from his hair. Exhaling, he shook his head, but before he could respond, Lucas took Rae by the shoulder and forcefully turned her. “Killian. Where the hell is Killian?”
Rae felt weakened as she registered his words. Turning frantically, she stared at Vash and then back at the water before letting out a shrill grumble that quickly turned into something worse and screeching.
She screamed his name and dashed for the water again. Not one part of her cared if she could swim or not. Within seconds, she was underneath, floating down into the black abyss. This time, she held her eyes open, despite being unable to see. And though she knew he couldn’t hear her cries, she let them out regardless. No fear registered in her heart.
“Killian! Don’t you dare leave me! Killian…”
She felt the hands latch around her neck, pulling her back toward the light from above, back to the deep-rooted hope that they would find their children at the end of the tunnel. Yet, as she reached the surface again, she knew Killian was gone.
The loss felt irrevocable. It hit her in the center of her stomach and spread like a virus, emotionless and far-reaching. Rae could barely take a breath, let alone open her eyes without spilling endless tears. She had already lost her children. Even Vash seemed stuck on the hurt of years ago. Was she destined to lose everyone, one by one?
“I don’t understand. He was right there, holding my hand,” she wept. “Right there…”
There was no time for words. Not yet, at least. Finding their alpha-pack brother was paramount. Both Vash and Lucas dove in after her while Virgil hung over the pool, watching intently as their bodies disappeared. “They will find him,” he said. “They must find him.”
Again, Virgil’s voice shook with intensity as if the entirety of his life depended on Killian’s appearance from that bitter lake. He grabbed the chain around his neck and closed his eyes, murmuring a tired prayer, anything to make things right. However, the alphas soon surfaced with nothing more than the wet on their backs.
Killian was gone. What that meant hadn’t even begun to register.
Vash took a few steps before crumpling beside Rae on the concrete platform. He held back his emotions for her as an alpha was taught to do, but she was sure he hurt as much as her. Lucas stood silent, but she could see the ricochets of gloom as his body quaked with sudden bursts of deep emotion.
“I’m sorry,” Vash said.
She’d forgotten what it felt like to be broken. It was less about the emotional strain than it was the physical. The reality set in, and it actually hurt her. She felt it deep within her shoulders, her solar plexus, and, of course, her shattered heart. She would have given the pumping organ of life and love to have everyone together again.
She stood and wiped her tears, unable to stop her hands from shaking. Still, she couldn’t allow herself to dwell on the darkness of her thoughts. If she did, she might break down and never leave the cave area. Instead, she turned and marched forward. “I will kill Severin, Ruby, and the rest of their pathetic guards. I will drain their blood and lather it on my body. I will fucking rape their corpses. Whatever it takes to make things right, I will do it.”
She marched through the long hall, noticing the well-lit door at the end. While silently weeping for Killian, she curled her hands into a fist and screamed. “We will have a funeral for him, and it will be the biggest funeral the world has ever seen!”
By saying those words, she almost felt like she might be able to get him back. Lost in the heat of the moment, she wanted what Virgil had, that everlasting faith to keep one moving. Though she tried to place one foot in front of the other, it was so fucking hard. Was it because she was a woman? No. The alphas were still seated and lost in their own grief. It was because she kept her heart open. She wondered if that was wrong of her, but Killian’s face shined throughout her mind.
“Alphas, follow me,” she commanded.
When she did not hear their footsteps, she slammed her heel against the concrete and screamed with fury. “Goddammit, follow me!” More tears shrouded her raspberry lips, falling to the floor as her nerves forced her to move. The hardest thing she had to persevere through was the absence of those she loved most. However, if that was something life would persistently make her face, she would learn to move with more grace.
“For rebellion is like the sin of divination, and arrogance like the evil of idolatry,” Virgil whispered.
“Follow me now, or break from me completely,” she muttered, ignoring Virgil’s shallow attempts at realigning the world through prayer. Truthfully, she didn’t give two fucks about prayers. She only cared about the light at the other end of the tunnel.
Vash broke their silence. It was clear he was in pain, but the struggle of life was complex, and he looked ready to combat it. “He isn’t dead,” he said, standing as if still a soldier in Cassian’s small army of bandits.
Rae’s eyes widened, but she quickly real