There’s no time to relish in my small victory or give into my large amount of pain. I pull myself back onto my feet and peer through the window.
The bedroom is dark and empty, just as I left it. Relief washes over my strained nerves... only to evaporate seconds later at the thought of just how the fuck I’m going to get inside.
The window is always locked...
But maybe it’s locked from the outside? I desperately search for a bolt or a clasp or a latch or anything, but it’s too dark and I can’t make anything out.
My brain starts to pound with panic as I realize that I may have just crawled back to my cage for no reason. I’m going to get caught...
Before I can fall too far into my pit of ever-growing despair, my hopeless gaze falls on the hole I created in the side of the balcony. The rubble is so obvious that it will be the first thing people spot in the morning. What kind of cheap shit is this paper mansion made of!?
My despair gives way to a quick bout of anger. I want to try the window pane with my fists, but I know that will only kill me quicker. The glass will shred my wrists and I’ll leave my child motherless.
I’m such a failure...
The anger won’t let me give up, though. I need to smash something, even if it means the death of me. Before I can pull a punch at my window, though, I spot a thick stone in the corner of the crumbled balcony.
My heart leaps with an ounce of hope. I lunge for it, taking the big piece of rubble in my hand and raising it above my head. With every last bit of strength in my failing body I throw it at my bedroom window...
And it immediately bounces back, smacking me in the chest and throwing me against the far end of the balcony. The wind rushes from my lungs and I struggle to catch my breath for what seems like an eternity.
Slowly, air drifts back down my throat... and something else comes with it.
Not despair; not hopelessness; not exhaustion.
Fire.
Anger.
Fury.
Fuck this scene. I am not going out like this. The loose stone that bounced off the window is back in my fist before I can think better of it. My first attempt might have bounced right back at me, but it at least left the window cracked. I wack the stone right in the middle of that crack and the glass splinters a little bit more.
Tears of rage and desperation blur my vision as I pound the stubborn window with all my might. I don’t care that I’m being loud; I don’t care that I’m probably going to get caught; I just don’t care. I need to break something, or else I might shatter myself.
Without warning, the window explodes in a flurry of broken glass. I fall through the opening, dropping the stone on the balcony outside before I hit the carpet inside. Sharp shards rain down over my exhausted body, but I’m too tired to move. I let them wash over me...
Before I can give in to my exhaustion, the exceedingly loud sound of my bedroom door being unbolted rattles through my brain.
Fuck. What am I going to say? I didn’t come all this way for nothing...
“What the hell!?” A gruff voice fills the room and I try to push myself off the ground. Heavy footsteps rush to my side and I’m pulled up onto my feet.
“Why the fuck wasn’t she checked on earlier!?” someone roars.
“We were waiting outside, boss! We didn’t think anyone could get in!”
“You fucking idiots!”
I’m hardly paying attention; my only struggle is to stay conscious. I feel the blood dripping down my skin, my eyelids are so heavy...
A rough hand gently slaps against my cheek. “What happened?” I don’t look up, but I know the question is directed at me. My mind is empty of excuses. “What happened!?” A big hand squeezes my jaw and forces my gaze up to a red-faced guard. His eyes are wide with desperate anger. It’s no secret that I’m Dante’s prized hostage, if something happens to me, there’s going to be hell to pay. “What the fuck happened!?”
Suddenly, a lie pops into my drained mind. “I was watching... out of the window... someone threw... a stone... the glass shattered... I... I...” I’m not quite ready to pass out yet, but this bully doesn’t know it. I close my eyes and let my head go limp.
The guard seems to accept my fib. He gets out of my face and I hear him storm over to the window. “Lock this place down. Now!”
His words hardly hit my ears. My empty mind is suddenly filled with thoughts of what just happened.