now how to laugh,’ she retorted stiffly. ‘You may not approve of my sense of humour but, thank goodness, not everyone is as stuffy as you. I’m sorry about the pool,’ her annoyance making it sound as if she wasn’t, ‘… but I intended to come and explain …’
‘Your intentions and your actions are sadly at variance. Are you sure this is the kind of job that suits you? You’d be better employed catering for a three-ring circus if you find slapstick so amusing!’
Shades of Phillip! ‘It’s better than not finding anything amusing at all!’ cried Julia hotly, feeling she may as well be hung for a sheep as a lamb. ‘And I’ll thank you to remember that you’re not my employer, Connie is, and she’s quite happy to trust me.’ Hugh’s soft, derisive grunt infuriated her. ‘What’s so great about your oh-so-sane approach to life anyway? Does it make the world a better place to be? No it doesn’t, it only makes it a little grimmer. The stuffed shirts of this world have made a damn fine mess of things as far as I can see. It’s people like you who rationalise atomic bombs and pollute the earth with new scientific wonders. It’s people like you who make life a chore instead of a joy.’ She paused for breath, feeling that she was getting off the track. ‘And I’ll pay for your Goddamned suit when you pay for smashing into my car!’
Michael Marlow murmured something disbelieving, but no one was interested.
‘You are not a member of this family, Julia Fry, however much you might try,’ said Hugh, with slow, crackling cruelty. ‘As you so charmingly pointed out you are Connie’s employee. Please act like it.’ Pushing away his half-eaten meal Hugh rose to his feet, his voice reverting to its habitual softness as he struck the Parthian blow. ‘When you’re a little less hysterical, I’ll listen to your apology.’
He slammed the door as he went, and the chandelier shimmered again. Julia could see the questions forming a thicket in the air. ‘I’m sorry, excuse me, will you?’
She escaped to the empty kitchen, stomach churning. She hated arguments. Worse, Hugh had been right, there was no excuse for hurling insults at her employer’s son over the dinner table. Now Connie might feel obliged to fire her. Oh, why had she lost her temper! Better to have burst into tears, at least she might have gained a bit of sympathy that way. And now Hugh’s opinion of her was worse than ever! For the first time she considered the possibility that she was irresponsible. She was far too prone to jumping impulsively into situations without properly considering the consequences. Accepting Richard’s dare, for one thing … and childishly baking him that disastrous cake. They weren’t the actions of a mature, thinking adult. Perhaps she should try and curb some of her natural high spirits, exercise a bit more self-control. At least her humour and optimism ensured that her tempers never lasted very long, but Hugh was a different kettle of fish. These strong, silent types were apt to brood. He might smoke and smoulder away in that attic of his for years … she had better apologise.
She was still trying to psyche herself up to it half an hour later when Connie sought her out.
‘I’m sorry, Connie, I should never have said what I did,’ began Julia, gloomily rattling the coffee cups.
‘We don’t condone censorship in this house, literary or verbal,’ responded Connie easily. ‘Hugh can be infuriating, I know, but perhaps in this case your temper did get the upper hand. What was it all about?’
Julia explained, and Connie dutifully kept a straight face until it came to the cake, and the pool.
‘Oh Julia, couldn’t you have done something less … dramatic,’ her voice trembled. ‘Pretended to faint or something.’
Julia looked at her, her mouth falling open. So simple a ploy hadn’t occurred to her fevered brain. ‘Well … I, er … I’m no actress, Connie, I probably wouldn’t have been able to carry it off. Anyway, I don’t think the valued colleague would have been diverted by anything less than my untimely death.’
‘Forget Ann, that was only Hugh rubbing it in by being pompous, he’s good at it isn’t he?’ The jewel-bright eyes narrowed thoughtfully. ‘I’ve never seen Hugh quite so … annoyed, at least not for a very long time. He usually reserves his arguments for obscure points of law and lets everyday nuisances go hang—like Richard keeping it secret that we were coming … I heard about that. Hugh is very good at ignoring what he doesn’t like, he can be aggravatingly single-minded about it. He should be case-hardened now, having put up with our antics for so long. Bawling you out was … why it was positively Marlowish.’ She paused. ‘I wonder whether that’s occurred to him yet?’
‘I suppose I’ll have to go up and apologise,’ Julia prodded, anxious for some biased advice.
‘I suppose you’d better,’ agreed Connie quietly. ‘It would clear the air.’ She settled herself down at the kitchen table. ‘Actually the reason I trotted in was to tell you something that might help you in your dealings with Hugh. I know he’s a difficult man to approach on a personal basis, but please don’t think that because he doesn’t laugh easily it’s because he’s a cold and humourless man. He’s not. But he finds it awkward to cope with emotionalism. It’s the boyish part of a man that likes to laugh and play the fool, but Hugh has nothing of the boy left in him. He doesn’t have the memories of innocent joy that most of us acquire in childhood. You knew he was adopted, of course? Well, the circumstances in which he came to us were … very sad; he was very withdrawn and very mistrustful of people. We loved him and gave him security, but we couldn’t obliterate the past for him.
‘So please, don’t judge him too harshly, Julia. He is extremely self-aware, overly so, and is very conscious o a lack in himself. Coming face to face with someone as happy and easy-going as you, must only throw his deficiencies into relief.’
‘Oh God, I couldn’t have said anything better planned to hurt him, could I?’ Julia buried her head in her hands, reliving every bitter word she had uttered, cursing her runaway tongue. What right had she had to criticise Hugh when she was such a bitch herself? It didn’t help to know that Connie’s hesitant ‘very sad’ had glossed over a great deal of obviously painful detail. Julia longed to ask questions, but her innate sensitivity held her back. Connie had made concession enough telling her this much. It was really none of Julia’s business and she knew that Hugh would hate to be discussed in such a way. She understood him better now, but only a little, and she wanted badly to make everything right between them. Yet she mustn’t let him see any sympathy, his pride would revolt at the very thought, and he would be suspicious if she suddenly grovelled. If only she wasn’t so confused about her feelings … her original dislike all jumbled up with compassion and curiosity, and despair that he seemed to have so little of her beloved laughter in his life.
‘I didn’t mean to heap coals of fire,’ Connie hastened to console her. ‘Hugh has a pretty thick skin, and a lot of what you said was true … that’s probably what riled him. Hugh likes to think of himself as impenetrably private. It must be shattering to find a slip of blonde reading him like a popular paperback.’
Julia gave a small, weak smile. ‘I’m afraid at this stage I’m only just following the pictures. Thanks, Connie.’
‘Off you go and get it over with, I’ll make coffee. He’ll be heartily regretting his bearishness by now, you should get a fair hearing. Go on—shoo!’
Exit stage left. Julia obeyed the director’s command.
CHAPTER FIVE
THE faint spittering sound impinged again on Julia’s semi-consciousness. She groaned and sat up, squinting at the luminous dial of her watch. Six o’clock. The spitter became a rattle and Julia reluctantly knelt up, shivering in her candy-striped nightshirt, and thrust open the window above her box bed.
Richard, looking disgustingly energetic, let fall a handful of gravel and threw his arms wide in the wintery gloom.
“Get up, get up for shame, the Blooming Morne
Upon her wings presents the god unshorne.
See how Aurora throwes her faire
Fresh-quilted colours through the aire:
Get up, sweet slug-a-bed and see