Fuck me.
“God damn it,” I yelled, clenching my fists. I kneeled down in the dirt looking her over. Maris’ eyes were squeezed shut in pain, and the bloodstain bloomed wide against the orange. “Call a fucking ambulance transport.” Guards rushed around and pushed inmates back.
“Get the women back to their cells. Now!” I yelled. We needed to get medical personal through. At least three dozen pairs of eyes gawked at the scene.
“Who did this? Who is responsible?” I scanned the yard. The remaining women and guards stood silent.
“She did it, that fucking coconut skank.” Evangelina pointed with a bloodied hand over to a body facing away from me and curled up in the dirt. I walked over and leaned down. She’d been tased. An EMT checked her pulse and pulled the prongs out quickly uncaring how they damaged her skin. Her cheeks were flushed, and bright red blood covered her hand, the paper shank clutched in her grasp. She said nothing except for inaudible murmurs and kept her eyes closed, damning her credibility.
Nene.
Fuck me.
Garcia stood outside the circle arms folded and waiting. He looked unhappy that there were only two bodies to clean up. “Warden?”
Beyond pissed there was nothing I could do except hopefully banish her to a place safe enough and far enough away from the chaos.
“Check her over in the infirmary, clean her up, then put her in solitary until I get back to deal with her.” Dust kicked up from my legs, and I headed back inside. This wasn’t the sort of call I wanted to make to James, but I had to let him know about Maris and see how he wanted to proceed next. The whole operation stood to get shut down right this second. We needed to know how these women were fueling Hector’s gang before more people got hurt.
Nene would have to wait.
Nine
Nene
The rumors about solitary were true. It was a place you didn’t want to be, especially when what you wanted or needed was to escape the place in your head. My head was already full. You couldn’t escape anything in solitary, not when you were your own worst nightmare. I thought about everything leading up to being here. Could it have panned out any different? Maybe not, but still… I let my body shut down and close in on itself as I waited it out, feeling like time passed by in a slow loop. I wished I had music to listen to, something I could play on repeat to drown out the sounds inside the four walls I was forced to stare at. The dripping condensation, metal scrapping concrete, or the obscure moans and cries from the next cell over.
I had been fighting against myself, the system, and all of the injustices I’d faced for so long, that I’d forgotten how to fight when it counted. That witch of a gang leader, Evangelina, had it out for me from day one. No matter how much I tried to mind my own business and stay away from hers, she always seemed to find a reason to search me out and give me a hard time. I was sick of pussyfooting around her but scared she would kick my ass if given the chance… and that’s how I found myself being dragged down the hallway, bars rattling, kicking and screaming my head off at the unfairness of it all.
She had called me the equivalent of a rotten cunt if my Spanish was anything to go by, and for some reason, it set me off. I allowed myself a moment of weakness, and she goaded me to respond. I tossed the book I was reading down and jumped the table ready to throw a punch I didn’t know I had in me. Guards gave us space to throw a few hits back and forth and when we grappled with each other, wrestling to the floor in a flurry of limbs and screeching like alley cats, they all jumped on us, inmates and guards both, pulling us apart while egging us on.
In the confusion, a gang member was stabbed, and the bloody weapon was shoved in my hand, obliterating any prints that weren’t mine. I hadn’t done it but it didn’t look good for me. Survival made me grip the weapon so she couldn’t pull back and stick me with it. I wasn’t stupid and I didn’t have a death wish. A savvy guard had other ideas and shocked the shit out of me with a Taser that dropped me to the ground like a sack of potatoes.
Evangelina spat profanities and lashed out with her jagged nails, catching me across the cheek in a last ditch effort to wound me. It stung something fierce, and I knew I was going to need something to clean the shit out. I wouldn’t have been surprised if the filthy bitch put her hands in toilet water before attacking me. I’d have preferred lemon juice in the cuts but I hoped the infirmary would clean them out.
That was how Cohen–fuck me, the warden because there was nothing personal between us now or ever—found me. My cheek pressed into the dirt, shallow, painful breaths exiting my lungs, and physically messed up in the yard. I couldn’t speak; my tongue was swollen from having bitten it when I got zapped by the Taser. I was sure I’d pissed myself from the dampness lingering down my legs at the periphery of my senses. I couldn’t gather the strength to care.
His shadow standing over my body was enough as he ordered my punishment and left.
Three days in the hole.
He left me there.
Three days in the dark.
He left me there.
Three days of no sleep because every little sound kept me on the edge of my sanity. It was enough for me to question everything from the beginning. I phased in and out, my mind running like a hamster on a wheel. I can’t say I wouldn’t have hurt myself given the opportunity. I swore I lost touch with reality here and there, and had it not been for Garcia sneaking me food, I would have starved since I rejected the normal shit they shoved through the small window twice a day.
Because fucking Cohen Sheppard left me there.
I didn’t understand why he was suddenly being nice to me. He was almost befriending me in some twisted way. I knew Garcia would expect something out of it. I could have told him he was wasting his time, but he obviously had other ideas.
“Get up Cruz.” He kicked at me like I was less than an animal. I leaned up from my corner, eyes squinting and sensitive from the lack of light in the dim square hole. The half opened Bible had pillowed my head in the dark and my arms shielded me until my left was grabbed and I was pulled up in a punishing grip leaving my feet to dangle in the air.
I had the system screw me over. I had my lawyer try dicking me around. There was no way I was going to let this guard mother-fuck with me now.
“Lay off, Garcia.” My voice a gravelly mess echoed in the space, and I yanked my arm back forcefully. He let go of me, and I stumbled back against the concrete wall dropping to my knees. More bruises were forthcoming. Sharp edges jammed into my back and protrusions from the uneven surface nicked the back of my head.