“Okay,” she relents. “I’ll tell you everything, but I’m so scared of losing you.”
I grip her face in my hands and force her to look at me. Her green eyes are glassy with tears and I watch as they roll down her cheeks. Using my thumb, I wipe them away. I lift her into my arms and carry her back into my room. My lips brush hers and I sigh. “You won’t lose me.”
“Just after my mom died, Tony came back.” She stops and takes a breath, repositioning herself on the bed.
I’m sitting on the chest under the window, listening, waiting for her to continue.
“I was alone. It was just Jake and me. I’d just lost the closest person in my life, and to be honest, I'd had enough.”
She stops and wipes tears from her eyes. Her fingers grab at the blankets covering her. “He promised me that this time, things would be different. I'm not sure if I believed him or if I just needed someone there for me. I was feeling sorry for myself, and that made it hard to say no.”
“How long had been since you’d seen him?”
“Tony?” She laughs. “He hadn't been around since I’d gotten pregnant with Jake.”
“And you weren’t suspicious when he suddenly showed up?”
She scowls at me. “Not an idiot, Ryder. Of course I was suspicious. Only my loneliness outweighed that. I let myself believe that maybe he was a different person. Maybe he had changed.”
“Then what happened?” I ask. I’m still no closer to figuring out where all this is going.
“He started getting abusive. He’d hit me and then apologize, say he’d never do it again, and I’d forgive him.” She laughs and shakes her head, as if she can't believe what she’s telling me. “Only it never was the last time. When he hit Jake, I panicked and asked him to leave.”
“You did nothing wrong. The guy’s an arse, Scar. You thought this would scare me off?” I laugh and stand up, walking over to her to wrap my arms around her, and kiss her face. “You stupid girl.”
I’m so relieved, yet at the same time I want to hunt this guy down and punch the shit out of him. Fucking loser. Any guy who beats up a woman is a fucking coward.
She moves out of my grasp and leans forward, hunching over herself. She bites her lip, her breathing shallow. “There's more. And if I don't tell you this is now, I might never do it.”
She's breathing heavily, and it's scaring me. Maybe I was premature with my relief, because this isn’t the end of her story.
She turns to me, her eyes wide with fear. “I need you to know that I'm terrified of losing you. Once I tell you this, I can't take it back, no matter how much I know I'm going to want to.”
“Shhh, it’s okay.” I cradle her in my arms, trailing little kisses down her neck. “Nothing you can say is going to scare me off, Scar. I love you. Your past is just that—it’s in the past.”
She lets out a laugh. “That's the thing: it is never in the past. It's always hanging over my head. I hate living with this thing hanging over me, feeling like it can drop at any moment and destroy everything I love and have worked for.”
“For God's sake, Scar, tell me. Let me help you. Please.”
“When Tony came back into my life, I was weak. Getting him out of my life proved harder than I’d thought it would be. He propositioned me. He knew of a way that could make us some fast cash.”
“Are we talking illegal?”
“You really think I’d be this worked up if it wasn't illegal?” She smirks. The hint of her smile makes me happy. I’m glad she can manage to see some light, no matter how dark the situation might feel.
“True. Go on.”
“So, his plan was simple. We frequented hotel bars. The ritzy kind. The kind where you’d expect to find obscenely rich businessmen. Lonely businessmen. Married businessmen. Businessmen who can't afford a scandal.”
She takes a breath before continuing, pursing her lips as she breathes out. I can feel the kicker is coming, and it’s making her nervous.
“You need to realize that at twenty-one, I still looked quite young. I was often told that I barely looked sixteen. I lost count of the number of times people thought Jake was my brother.”
I can believe that. Even at twenty-three, she doesn't look it. Twenty, maybe, but no older.
“So Tony’s plan was that I would slut myself up, pick up rich, married men, and convince them to take me back to their room.” She laughs. “The funny thing is, nine times out of ten I was successful.” She pauses and takes a deep breath. “So we’d get to his room, I’d act all innocent and drop my fake age—which seemed to excite them more—and then I'd pretend I wanted to sleep with them.”
She shakes her head and buries her face in her hands. “I would make-out with these old, slimy married men who thought I was only sixteen while Tony was hiding in a closet filming the whole thing.”