"At the expense of my wife." His fingers clasp mine tightly. "I made a vow to Carly to keep her safe. She's my wife, and her life is not on the bargaining table. If you will not help us, we will leave this place and seek assistance elsewhere."
"Keep her safe?" Neska's tone is mocking. "Did you keep her safe when you broke her back at Hrit Svala? You have fractured and pulled upon her thread so much that even Death cannot take her."
Kassam stiffens and whirls about to look at me. His gaze searches mine. "Is this true?"
I give him a guilty smile. "I wanted to see it through to the end, Kassam. You needed my help, so I gave it."
"Oh, Carly," he murmurs, cupping my head in his big hands. His handsome face is stricken as he looks down at me. "You have given too much. I would never ask that of you."
"You didn't. It was freely given."
"You should have said something."
I cover his hands with mine. They feel so warm and comforting that I close my eyes, leaning into his touch. "Like I said, it was freely given, and you had enough to worry about. I don't regret my choices. They helped you."
"Helped me burn a city and put Seth on Riekki's throne?" His voice is bitter, even as his touch is so, so gentle. "It is not worth it, Carly. It is not worth your life. I promised—"
"It's okay," I say softly, and press a kiss to his palm. "Really."
But the look in his eyes is inconsolable. Kassam stares at my face, no doubt at the circles under my eyes, my cracked lips, my wan skin. He breathes deep and then presses his brow to mine. "I am not ready to lose you." His voice is ragged. "You are more than my anchor, my Carly. You are my wife—my friend. My partner. I can't do this."
I choke back a sob, my eyes burning but still dry. "I don't want to leave you either, okay? I love you. I want forever with you…but I can't ruin your plans—"
"Fuck my plans," he says raggedly. "Fuck them all."
"No." I shake my head. "You're going to return to your realm, and you're going to be a kick-ass wild god, and you're going to free the conmac, and everything will be back to normal."
Kassam looks incredulous. "There is no 'normal' without you, my little light. My normal is in your arms. My normal is hearing your sweet voice. My normal is laughing with you, spending time with you, learning from you. I do not want to go on to a different normal. If they take you from me, I will no longer have a normal. There will only be sadness. There will only be loss, and I will be nothing once more."
"That's not true—"
"You are my wife," he says in the most gentle, most heartbreaking voice imaginable. "My love. My little light. And I promised to protect and keep you, just as you promised the same to me. So I am not going to let you leave me, my Carly. You made a vow."
I sob, holding his hands tightly. "I don't want to leave you. But there's no choice—"
"There is always a choice," he tells me, an intense look in his silver eyes. "Just because it is not an obvious path does not mean it is not there." He leans in and kisses the tip of my nose. "Trust me to fix this?"
"My thread—"
"Trust me?" he asks in a hushed voice. "Please?"
I nod. Surely he knows at this point I'd give him anything he asked?
Kassam smiles, a look of relief on his face. He kisses my nose again and then turns toward the Spidae. "You will not bind her thread at my side?"
The Spidae looks icy with disdain. "As my brother has already told you, it is impossible. Her thread is too frayed, too destroyed by the fact that she has died twice now in your care. Let her go, or you risk damaging her thread further."
"It can be repaired," Kassam says, a stubborn expression on his face.
Neska looks ready to spit nails. "Only the High Father—"
"Then we will wait for the High Father," Kassam says immediately. "Send word to him. I know you can. You are his favorites." He scoops me into his arms, bridal-carry style, and calls over his shoulder, "My wife will be waiting in my chambers with me. You are not to approach her alone ever again, or you will face my wrath."
My eyes go wide as I stare up at Kassam. I've never heard his voice so hard and so flat. He breezes past the singing, shimmering threads and out of the chamber, passing another Spidae who looks on with an equally displeased expression as my husband carries me away. As we head down the ramp and away from the Spidae, I touch Kassam's chest, worried. "Should you be pissing them off?"