I try to talk, but I’m terrified and drowning in it. I can’t even find the courage to shake my head no. He moves over me, his hands wrapping around my throat, cutting off my air. For some reason, he lets up just enough, and I beg him to stop.
“Please stop, please. I’ll do better. Let go. Don’t do this!”
“Callie!”
“I’ll be better,” I tell him, his hands moving to my wrists.
“Callie!”
“I’m sorry!” I cry, feeling hot tears moving down over my cheeks.
“Callie, baby, wake up.”
I fight him. I’m too lost in my misery. I don’t trust him. He’s just trying to be nice so he can make the pain worse. How often had he done that in the past? And yet I fell for it every single time.
“Bluebird, wake up and come back to me.”
Bluebird.
I fight my misery to force my eyes to open. I look up to see Reed staring down at me, concern etched on his features.
“Reed,” I breathe, my voice hoarse.
He curls on the bed with me, pulling my stiff body into his arms. I hold myself solid against him, scared as if he might turn back into Mitch at any time. He’s got joggers on but isn’t wearing a shirt. He pulls me so my head is nestled against his chest. I hear his heart beating against my ear and I listen to that sound. It’s reassuring. Strong. Steady. Reliable. Slowly, the heat from his body hits me and I begin to relax as I feel his fingers combing through my hair with a tenderness that makes me feel raw but safe at the same time.
“It’s okay now, Bluebird. Mitch is never going to hurt you again. I swear. You’re safe now,” he says, kissing my forehead.
“You don’t know—”
“I know, Callie. Trust me. Mitch is gone forever.”
I look up into his eyes as I wrap my mind around what he’s saying. Surely, he’s just being comforting, saying he’s going to protect me.
Yet…
When I look into his eyes, that’s not the feeling I get at all. What has he done? I shut my thoughts down. I don’t want to try and process it and sort through what he could mean. What any of it means. I’ve already been through too much to add more to it right now.
“Are you okay, now?” he asks.
I nod while using my fingers to dry the tears that are still present on my face.
“Good, I’ll let you go back to sleep,” he murmurs, but he doesn’t disengage from me. He just continues looking at me as if he wants to make sure I’m truly alright.
“I...,” I moisten my lips and work up my courage. “Would you stay?” I ask. “Just, hold me? I don’t. I mean, I’m not asking for anything but that. I don’t think I could even if I wanted and I—”
“Shh, Bluebird. It’s fine. I’ll hold you all night, honey. I’ll stay on top of the blankets. You’re safe with me. You will always be safe with me.” His voice and the look on his face are so tender they make tears sting my eyes again, although for different reasons this time. I fight them. I don’t want to appear weaker to him.
He shifts us on the bed so that he’s under the covers and pulls me into his body, cradling me, allowing me to direct how I want to be held. I move so that I can keep my ear pressed against his heart.
“Thank you, Reed,” I murmur as I let his heat and strength slowly lure me back into sleep.
“I’m here, Callie. I’ll always be here,” he vows, and I smile, letting myself drift away…
Feeling safe.
CHAPTER 33
Callie
THREE DAYS LATER
“Thanks for spending the day with me, Lennon,” I grin, bending over his car seat to ruffle his sweet, chestnut curls.
“Wub you,” he coos, making my heart happy. Lennon is the sweetest child. Somehow, he makes everything better.
“I love you. You take care of your momma for me.”
He doesn’t answer. He’s too interested in his kid’s meal toy. I touch his hair one last time and slide the van door closed. I go back to the passenger seat and grab my purse and smile at Katie. She’s staring at me funny, and I frown.
“What?”
“You look good, Callie. I see flashes of my old friend in you today.”
I try to give her an encouraging smile. “I’m trying,” I tell her. Although I am trying, I doubt seriously that I will ever be the old Callie. I’m not sure that’s possible.
“Good. I’ll call you later,” she promises.
“Remember what I said about Reed. Tell Jeff, too. Okay?”
“You’re probably worrying for no reason,” Katie says, but I can tell in her eyes that she’s not exactly sure either. “But I will. Promise.” I nod, closing the door. I feel better with that done. I hope Katie’s right and I’m just being silly. I feel better being prepared, though. That’s definitely one thing being married to a monster taught me.