At the twist in my stomach, I realized I'd hit on what was really bothering me, beyond the immediate problem of Tenn's deadline. What was going to happen now? Did I want to go? Did Tenn want me to stay? And what if he did? I had the boys, and our house, and my job. I had to consider what August and Thatcher would want. I couldn't just walk away from my job. Could I?
I'd thought about it more than a few times over the last two years. Ever since the first month my side hustle brought in more than my salary. It didn't happen every month, but it happened more often than not, and the months it fell short, it wasn't by much. At first, I paid off my car, then started paying extra on the mortgage and putting more in the boys’ college funds. I was starting to make good headway on those. If I went full-time making jewelry and small sculptures for my online shop, I'd be able to sell more but probably not enough to equal what I was making both teaching and running the shop.
It was a big risk. As those words ran through my head, I hated the sound of them. Everything was a risk. Going to Sawyers Bend. Trusting Tenn. Coming after Thatcher. Was I going to be afraid of risks forever?
Yes, big changes were a risk.
And yes, I had two boys to look after.
I didn't have the right to be reckless, but did that mean I couldn't take a chance?
I didn't know. I knew I was in love with Tenn. No doubt there. I didn't know what to do about it, or if it could go anywhere, or if he even wanted it to. I was three years older than him with a pain-in-the-ass ex-husband and two great kids. Maybe Tenn didn't want a ready-made family. Maybe he was good with what we had—a fling or whatever this was—and he'd be ready to send us on our way in a week or two.
Or maybe, I thought with a blast of horror, he'd be ready when we got back to the Manor.
No. It was possible, but I didn't believe that. I didn't know if Tenn loved me. We'd barely met, after all. But I was sure he felt something for me. He was the one who'd insisted it wasn't just sex, right? My thoughts drifted as the miles sped by. I watched the clock, wishing we could speed up while the clock slowed down.
I may have dozed off, my head leaning against the cool window, one hand on Thatcher's side, feeling his ribs move with every breath. I must have because I blinked my eyes and we were nearing the outskirts of Knoxville. I looked around, spotting a black SUV identical to ours right behind us.
"Are those guys with you?" I asked.
"That's the rest of the team. We'll pull into a gas station in a minute, you guys can fill up, get some food, and head home."
"I can't thank you enough for everything," I said. "Things were not looking good when you showed up."
Kane smiled as he hit his blinker and slowed for the exit. "No thanks needed. Griffen saved my ass a few times. Glad to help out his family."
At the sound of voices, Thatcher stirred, sitting up and blinking out the window. "Hungry," was all he said. Typical.
"We'll grab some food when we stop," I said, repositioning in my seat now that he wasn't sleeping on me anymore.
We pulled into a gas station attached to a drive-through and parked in a spot off to the side next to the other SUV. One of the guys from the motel room hopped out, Thatcher's backpack in hand. Kane got out, and the rest of us followed.
"I think this is yours," the guy said, holding the bag out to Thatcher.
"My backpack!" Thatcher grabbed the bag. "Thanks! And thanks for, you know, getting us out of there."
"Happy to help."
Kane handed the keys to our SUV to Tenn. "You have three and a half hours to get back. Should be smooth sailing if you make this a quick stop and get back on the road."
"That's the plan." Tenn held out a hand to Kane and they exchanged a firm shake. "Thank you. You guys really saved the day. Good luck in Memphis."
More handshakes, some back slaps, and they were gone. Tenn turned to Thatcher and me. "Hit the bathroom, get gas and food, and then get back on the road?"
"Why don't you tell me what you want to eat, and Thatch and I will get the food while you fill us up? We can save a little time."
Tenn didn't say anything, just reached out and squeezed my arm once before giving me a quick nod. I found myself leaning into him, feeling his need to hold me and mine to hold him back. But not now. Not in front of Thatcher until I could tell him about Tenn and what he was to me. Which would be sometime after I figured that out for myself.