My thoughts battle with my reason as I walk around to the driver’s side.
What would happen if she let out all that pent-up desires? What would that feel like?
I see her leaping across the car at me, sitting on my lap and grinding up and down as she brings her hands to my face, staring down at me and biting her lip.
We’d rock together, as she takes the lead…
But only for a little while.
After feeling how hot and tight her slit is, I’d have to flip her over and claim control, claim her.
I’d fuck her savagely, taking her with all the force of my need.
Fuck, focus.
Starting the car, I begin to guide us back across the city, toward the hotel where the party is being held.
“Are you excited?” I ask, deciding I’ll make some small talk.
It’s better than the alternative – telling her how badly I need her.
Forever.
“Yes,” she murmurs. “I think it’s going to be a lot of fun.”
I glance at her briefly, studying the tightness in her jaw, the flatness of her lips. “You don’t have to be nervous.”
She laughs, a gorgeous songlike sound, one I wish I could capture and play on repeat any time I’m feeling low. “That’s sort of like telling water not to be wet… heck.”
I chuckle. “I’m sorry, Jessie, but did you just say heck?”
She looks at me quickly. For a half-second, our eyes meet… or, more accurately, I fall into her eyes, trying to move past her shield to the real her beneath. I could stare at her, into her for days without getting bored.
She truly is an angel, my angel.
“I did, yeah. Does that make me the biggest dork in the universe?”
“It definitely makes you a contender,” I tease lightly. But I can’t risk her thinking I’m serious. “I’m joking. I think it’s cute.”
She winces at the word cute, making me wish I hadn’t said it.
I have to remember the age gap, the fact I’m her boss, the impossibility of this scenario.
“Why heck, anyway?” I push on. “What’s wrong?”
“It’s just… I promised myself I wouldn’t be a nervous wreck tonight. And here I am admitting to how nervous I am.”
“It’s okay,” I tell her, eager to make her feel at ease. “You don’t have to be embarrassed about your feelings.”
She nods, biting her lip. She wouldn’t do that if she had any clue how hungry it makes me, how badly it makes me want to lean across and kiss her, kiss her hard and passionately until she has no choice but to melt against me.
“So,” I go on, “what made you want to work for my company?”
She turns to the window, watching the city pass us by for a few long moments. I can see her in the reflection, her makeup enhancing her natural beauty, her hair so silky it’s like she’s begging me to run my hands through it.
“I’ve always wanted to work in the business world,” she says, her voice soft. “It’s probably the silliest thing for a girl like me to want to do, but there you go.”
I wince, biting down.
I wish she’d stop talking about herself like she’s somehow inferior. Like she’s somehow unworthy. When in reality she’s the best woman I’ve ever met. In every single way.
“Why?” I ask. “Why did you always want to work in the business world?”
“When I was a kid, well, I was pretty shy.” Her voice gets even softer, as though it’s a struggle to push the words out. “And by pretty shy, I mean it was a real problem. Anyway, I used to go to the café where my aunt worked and read at the window, but sometimes I wouldn’t read. Sometimes I’d just watch as these businessmen and women walked up and down the street. There was some big firm nearby, and often I’d see them leaving work.
“There was this one lady in particular. I never even learned her name. But she looked so self-assured, so confident, so ready to take on the world. Something changed in me as I watched her. I used to dream of being like that, of going into the world, and facing my problems instead of running away from… am I making any sense?”
“Yes,” I say fiercely. “I understand. And for what it’s worth, Jessie, you’re already capable. Carmen says you’re an incredible worker.”
I leave out the part of the solo tasks because she clearly doesn’t need any more reasons to think negatively about herself. I wish there was a way for me to tell her how much she means to me, how badly I want to help guide her through life and help her reach her goals.
But there’s no way to voice all of that without delving into places I can’t venture into, not right now, not immediately before the party. Because if I start talking to her about how beautiful, cute, talented, and mine she is, I won’t be able to stop until I’m buried inside of her and she’s screaming my name,