“But we need to get right onto finding where we stand legally,” Mum interrupted, “having our own lawyers look over this paperwork. It’s not going to be a problem, no matter what it says, but we—” The frown spread across her face fast. “Julia, why are you making that dreadful smug expression at me.”
I couldn’t remember the last time I’d laughed like this. I was struggling to get the words out through my gasps. “Mum, there is no paperwork.”
She just stared for a moment, completely serene. I think she couldn’t grasp that particular configuration of words.
“He wasn’t screwing me over or anything,” I hurried to clarify. For some reason this detail mattered to me. “His mother had something drawn up at some point, we just never got around to signing off on it. Too much else going on.” I’d been more focused on getting him to spend his feelings on me, but I knew better than to say that. I doubted Mum had thought much about Daddy’s feelings in a long time, and she wouldn’t appreciate being reminded of it.
As it was, the face she was giving me felt capable of incineration. “How could you not make that a priority? Do you have no common sense in you at all?”
I shuffled down in my seat a little before I regained my consciousness of what I was doing. “I guess it’s the same as always, Mum.”
My parents were looking at each other now in unease. Had they really thought they could take me and claim Devin’s money? That whatever I’d been doing, I was going to just fall back in line with them straight away?
It didn’t matter what they thought, I knew that. They wanted me to fall in line and hand over the money, so they would act like it was a given. It was the same energy I’d seen in Devin, always having his plans… and me too, in my worst phase?
The truth was right here in front of me:
I was a part of this world, had always been a part of it though my parents had tried to keep me in my box.
Maybe that was what it had really been about all those years. Not my parents looking at me and finding me wanting… but realising they wouldn’t be able to control me if they let me have my head.
A white-anting strategy on their own daughter?
It seemed with my parents, there were layers beyond the layers I thought I’d already uncovered. And this made me certain there really was something more to Devin targeting them. Something personal that I hadn’t yet seen… something that had nothing to do with what had started to build between us.
I’d thought he was trying to hold his secrets over me, when it was probably hard for him to reveal them to anyone… let alone a girl whose family was connected to them. I needed to talk to him, now, but all I could do right now was face my parents, who were clearly settling on rage.
“This is pathetic even for you, Julia,” said Daddy. “Putting everything else aside for the moment, did you not think for one second about your own future? Do you really believe a man like O’Hare is a long-term prospect? Look at his father: ditched his wife as soon as he could, went straight off fucking every pretty little thing who got dragged into his orbit. Won’t be surprised to hear he had a go at you.”
I scraped my bottom lip between my teeth repeatedly. “Haven’t met him yet.” I couldn’t imagine Devin’s father being worse than his mother, though. Maybe the guy had perfectly good reasons for ditching Angel.
“Okay.” I tensed at the sound of my mother’s voice. This was getting serious now. “So what are we going to do about it?”
“There’s nothing to be done,” I said. “You gambled on something that didn’t pay off. I’m sure you’re used to that feeling.”
The sweet breeze of the coast sang through this heartwarming reunion between parents and child.
“Well we’ve already invested the money,” Daddy told me. “So somebody needs to be accountable for that.”
“You invested money you hadn’t…” Well, why was I surprised? “That somebody is going to be you and Mum, because I had nothing to do with this. And money that was promised to me has nothing to do with you anyway.”
Mum shook her head. “Get a grip, Julia. Those silly rules everyone else follows when it comes to money don’t apply to us. You can scream and kick about it all you like, but you’re going to have to be good for that money.”
“And you know there’s no way I can get it for you now, so what’s your point? How far are you willing to go to make me get that money?” But as soon as I’d said it I wished I hadn’t. I could easily picture them selling me to as many buyers as would make up the price.
Daddy laced his fingers. “It’s very easy, actually. We don’t need to do much. If he wants to make it difficult, we just make sure you’re where he knows to come and find you.”
They were going to try to blackmail Devin into signing those papers anyway? “That will never work. He’s not going to roll over easily.”
Mum was beaming with smugness. “You mean you failed to make enough of an impression on him to do this? That must have been disappointing for you.”
“I mean, what are you going to do to me, really? You know I’m going to fight back, try to leave… are you willing to threaten to kill me?”
After I’d said it I added, “No, don’t answer that,” because it struck me that I really didn’t want to know, but the look on Mum’s face told me I’d been too late.
“Of course we would never kill you, Julia.” Her voice echoed serene in the lazy afternoon air. I felt like I was on my knees in front of some very unexpected but inherently malicious thing that had started talking: the gravestone of a murderer, a statue erected to a discredited nineteenth century hero. “But you have to take responsibility for the consequences of your own actions from now on. If you don’t wise up to your place in the world very soon, then yes, you will probably find yourself dead.”
Had I really needed any more evidence that there was nowhere further I could go in my relationship with my parents? But here, at least, was a glimmer of hope. If I could get close to Devin, make him see that I really was finally growing as a person, maybe he would be willing to find some way to save me.