“Hi Audra. How are you? Wonderful? Great because I'm just peachy.” The sarcasm dripped off my words.
A taxi pulled up in front of me and I got in. “642 56th Street please.”
“Are you in a cab?”
“Yes. What does it matter?”
“Oh shit, were you on another breakup luncheon? I swear last time this happened I told you the next guy that asks you out to lunch, refuse.”
I guess it was becoming a bit of a pattern. “And what? I’m just supposed to drag out a relationship with some guy who doesn't like me?”
“Piper, I hate to tell you this but I don't think there are any guys who like you in New York anymore. So, if you can snag one that has a good job and a 401(k) you should just let it drag out as long as possible. Hopefully all the way down the aisle.”
“You sound like Mom.”
“Well you've got to start listening to someone. I swear to God I'm going to be dead before you finally meet a man.”
“You're so lovely at this time of day. Or actually any time of day.” More sarcasm, I was on a roll.
“Speaking of death, we need to talk about Uncle Jeff's funeral.”
This is why I had been avoiding her calls all day. There was no way in hell I was going back to Bradberry for some ridiculous family reunion and the sad funeral of my Uncle Jeff. Who I hadn't seen in at least a decade.
“I'm not talking about Uncle Jeff's funeral. I already told you I have to work.”
“Well that's hilarious because I called Ian and he told me that he could clear your schedule for all of next week. I expect you to be here tomorrow.”
Ian, that Queen. He was on my shit list now.
“I can't just pick up and be there tomorrow. That’s not how it works here, I have clients and appointments…”
She interrupted me, “Ian has cleared all of that for you. By the way he says he is very sorry for your loss.”
I sighed. “You're not giving up, are you?”
“You missed Christmas. Mom and Dad are pissed as hell at you and no one wants to talk about you because they think you're sad and lonely. Now I know that you are sad and lonely but I still want to see my baby sister, so come home. Pack a bag and get in the car tomorrow. Is that clear?”
I hated the way she bossed me around but she was right. I hadn't gone home for Christmas because a friend surprised me with tickets to the Rockettes on Christmas Eve. I had never been even though I'd lived in New York for five years. It was an opportunity I didn’t want to pass up. The story of my life.
“Fine. I'm coming. But don't expect me to be all excited about it. And I want my own room, I'm not paying to stay at some rinky-dink hotel up there for a week. Mom and Dad have plenty of space and they can put me up. Or even better, you can.”
“Nope. We’re already full, you're definitely staying with Mom and Dad. And the best part is Aunt Miriam is staying with them too.”
“Great. So, I can get the judgment from all sides.”
“Always.”
“Well I guess I gotta go pack.” We were nearing my apartment anyway. “Bye.”
“Ta for now!”
Sometimes older sisters make you want to vomit. Not mine, she was an over achiever. My older sister made me want to vomit ninety five percent of the time. She was our parent’s favorite. Had stayed close to home, got married, had kids. She had done everything the right way. But not me. I was the black sheep. The super-successful yet unmarried lawyer. Screams black sheep, doesn’t it?
Two
Piper
The taxi pulled up to my apartment. I paid and jumped out, wishing I could stay there forever. Living in the back of a cab for the rest of my life would beat going home for a week. I knew I was being overdramatic, but I couldn’t help it. My sister had a way of getting under my skin. After just one phone call she had me agreeing to an entire week in Bradberry. I didn’t know how she did it, but I hated her for it.