His voice trailed off, and he shook his head again as he sighed heavily.
“What?” I demanded. “What would you have done differently, if you had known?”
He did not offer me an answer, so I tried again.
“What happened to all that stuff you said about sex?” I pressed. “About it not needing to mean anything to be fulfilling?”
“Your first time should mean something.”
“Why?” I demanded. “Why should it?”
“Because,” Caleb said, his fiery eyes met mine in an intense, pained gaze. “Your first time might be the only time it can mean something. And if it doesn’t, then you’ll just end up being a cynical shell of a person like me who craves a connection that he can never seem to find.”
“So having sex ruins people?” I snapped.
“No,” he said firmly. “But people can ruin sex, and if you share your first time with the wrong person--”
“Are you the wrong person?”
“No,” he said again, his eyes burned through mine.
“Then why won’t you fuck me?”
“You shouldn’t talk like that.”
“Why?”
“Because you don’t know what you’re asking for.”
“I can handle it.”
“You can’t.”
“That’s not your decision to make,” I reminded him. “I don’t need you to dictate how I should feel or what I should want. I know what I want… I want you.”
He was silent, and my heart continued to pound in the thick steam.
“And you want me,” I reminded him. The desire burned inside me mixed with anger, and I needed to prove him wrong just as much as I needed to have him inside of me. I climbed onto his lap, wrapping my legs around his hips and planting my hands on the waistband of his briefs.
“You want to be my first,” I whispered, sliding over his lap and feeling the sharp ridge of his cock rising up under the fabric of his briefs. “Come on, Caleb. I’ve been brave. I’ve put myself out there. Now why don’t you tell me what you’re thinking for a change?”
“You’re a little cock-tease,” he said through gritted teeth. “I think you’re a guppy trying to swim with a shark. I think you’re in over your head.”
“You think I’m afraid of you,” I whispered, pressing my lips into his chest. I didn’t know where this side of me had been hiding all of my life, but now that she had been exorcised, I couldn’t stop myself. I was out of control. I was drunk on the thrill of feeling Caleb’s body pressed against mine.
My panties were slick from my excitement and I needed him to rip them off. I needed him to make me feel those things again. I needed him to work his magic, make my body bend and burn in response to his touch.
“You should be afraid of me.”
“Why?”
“Stop asking stupid questions,” he muttered, pressing his lips into neck as his hands wrapped around my bare ass cheeks. He spread my ass apart, sinking his fingers deeper into my skin until I yelped with pain.
“Then give me one good reason why you can’t fuck me,” I dared him.
“Because,” he warned, squeezing tighter, digging his nails into my flesh. “I can’t just have meaningless sex with you, Daisy.”
I took a deep breath, my head spinning with what he just said. We were past the point of being shy. We were beyond being bashful. I felt his cock throbbing between my thighs and the only thing separating us was wet fabric.