I had missed so much.
Along with my shock and amazement, anger began to simmer in my mind.
“Hello Mr. Murphy, we spoke on the phone. I am Veronica March, the supervisor. Thank you for coming in so quickly. As you can see Noah is not very happy to be sick.”
The woman’s voice grounded me. It gave me something to concentrate on instead of what was going on in my head. I didn’t have time to dwell on my turbulent emotions because my son needed me. Right now he was fussing, demanding his mommy.
The little boy called Noah was wailing. Big fat tears were falling down his cheeks and he squirmed in the woman’s hold.
I held out my hand to catch him when he almost fell out of Veronica’s hold when he pushed hard at her chest. He registered my nearness and stilled, leaning into the middle-aged, brown-haired woman now as he watched me wearily.
Tears were still falling from his eyes but he had stopped letting out those gut-wrenching sobs.
“Come on, little guy, we need to get you home,” I said, my voice was croaked as if I hadn’t used it in years.
I reached for him, keeping my movements slow and deliberate.
Noah shook his head then hid his face against Veronica’s neck, stating, “I want my mommy. Where’s Mommy?”
“He doesn’t seem to be very comfortable with you,” the woman observed, bouncing Noah on her hip.
Maybe because he has no fucking clue who I am I thought angrily, the hot emotion surging in me.
I had to get myself under control though or they wouldn’t allow me to walk out of here with my own son.
I pulled my military training around me and suppressed the violent mix of emotions. There would be plenty of time to feel them later.
Right now, I had to be a father to Noah. He needed me and I wouldn’t fail him. I had already failed him for all these years by not being around.
To the woman, I summoned a charming smile and said, “I have only recently come back into his life and we are still adjusting to each other’s company. We’ll be fine though. He is completely safe with me.”
I watched her fall under my spell, a blush making her cheeks pink as she unconsciously patted her bob length hair back.
She nodded as if she completely understood what I was saying and said, “Ms. Clark has always had you as her emergency contact so I see no reason he can’t be released into your care. Just show me your ID so I can make a copy and you’ll be on your way.”
“No problem,” I pulled my license out of my wallet and she still held onto Noah as she walked over to the copy machine. So that’s why they called me, Hailey had me written down. Did that mean she had always thought I would come back? Or that she would tell me about him?
She returned, handing me my ID. “Looks like it’s all in order.”
Still bouncing Noah, she coaxed his head away from her neck and told him, “Be a good boy now, Noah. Go on with Mr. Murphy. He will take good care of you and you’ll feel better soon buddy.”
When she passed Noah over to me, my arms wrapped around the child like I had been doing it for years. It felt natural and right to hold him and I fought the urge to smother him closer.
I savored the feel of his slight weight even though he was stiff against me. I inhaled deep, emotion threatening to take over, and smelled the shampoo from his hair. Same as his mom’s. Happiness was now in the mix of feelings.
My heart opened up and accept the boy into it without reserve.
I was a father to what I already knew was Noah the most lovable child in the universe. I internally promised to spend the rest of my life taking care of him and making sure he had everything he needed, most of all my love.
He would never doubt how much I loved him.
“He seems to be coming down with a stomach bug. I’m sure with a little medication and rest, he will be right as rain soon,” Veronica said. “I have placed the medicine Ms. Clarke keeps here for emergencies like this in the bag for you. I already gave him a dosage about thirty minutes ago. All you have to do is stick to the instructions on the bottle and everything will be fine. Don’t worry if he is drowsy. It is a normal side effect of the medicine. Plus he is likely tired from his body fighting the sickness.”
I nodded, eyes only for my child.
She handed me a bag decorated with cartoon characters and I shouldered it.
I buckled Noah into the backseat of my car a few minutes later. He was watching me with wide, unsure eyes. I didn’t even have a car seat. Did he need one? I had no idea.