I had to go back to Paris, my entire life and career were there. But it made me so sick to think of leaving him that I tumbled out of the shower and threw myself into the toilet. The breakfast I had indeed wolfed down came barking back up the tree, and when I was done heaving, I wiped my mouth, sat down, and cried.
I had to tell him. I had to sit him down today and tell him everything. I didn’t know how I was going to start the conversation and I didn’t know if he would let me stay the last week or throw me out onto my ass, but I couldn’t keep doing this to him, and I sure as hell couldn't keep doing this to us. As easy as it was for me to just run from my problems, I was tired of running.
I loved him with everything I had, and I’m not sure I had ever stopped… and because of that, he deserved better.
He deserved answers, and he deserved those answers served to him. He shouldn’t have to dig, or begin the conversation, or even wait between my pauses. I needed to bring it up, and once I started talking I couldn't stop until it was all said. Until he had all his answers.
Until he understood what had happened and that it wasn’t his fault.
I pulled myself off the bathroom floor and eventually got dressed. The clock was blaring a few minutes past noon, and my hands suddenly began to tremble. I felt short of breath and tears were rising to my eyes, and before I could settle myself down, I heard Flynn’s voice waft up the stairs and ricochet down the hallway.
“Chelsea! Lunch’ll be ready in about fifteen!”
Chapter 17: Flynn
I started throwing us some sandwiches together and pulled out a couple glass bottled Orange Crush’s. I knew that was Chelsea’s favorite drink if she wasn’t guzzling down sweet tea, and then I threw some chips and salsa onto the table before making a small fruit salad. It wasn’t the nicest lunch ever, but it would do before I had to go back and tend to the animals some more. I heard Chelsea shuffling around upstairs, and I couldn’t help but rush to the bottom of the steps when I heard her starting to come down.
“I can get down a flight of steps now,” she smirked.
“Rather be safe than sorry,” I smiled.
She looked absolutely beautiful, and my heart thundered in my chest. She had on a pair of white linen pants and a tight, pink tank top. Her feet were bare, and her hair was fluttering around her neck, and the smile on her face sent shivers down my spine. I’d completely fallen back into love with this woman, and I intended to talk with her over lunch about trying to do the long-distance thing. I didn’t know what she was doing now or where she was doing it, but I wanted her to know that I supported her and that, wherever she was, we could somehow make this work.
“Come on. I got sandwiches, Orange Crush, and chips.”
“Oh God, Orange Crush. I haven’t had it in ages,” she groaned.
We made our way to the kitchen table, and before we sat down, she snatched up her open bottle. She chugged it back and swallowed hard, moaning and groaning while she did so, and I felt a small tent growing behind my pants. A small drop of orange liquid trickled out the side of her mouth, and mindlessly I reached out to swipe it away. The orange drop hit my finger and pulled away from her skin, and when she looked at me, there was a hint of something there that I couldn’t put my finger on.
“Just a little drop there,” I said lowly.
She cleared her throat and dropped herself into her seat, and I went over to the fridge and grabbed her another bottle before I sat down.
“Well, one of my heifer’s looks to be ready to pop within the next week or so. I’ve gotta place a call to the vet and have him come over to take a look at her.
“Oh, wow, how exciting. You sure you don’t want place that call now?” she asked.
“I’ll do it after I’m done eating. Right now, she’s sleeping, and I don’t wanna risk him coming over now and waking her up.”
“How’re the bulls doing? Don’t you have rodeo lessons you give as well?” she asked.
“I canceled and moved those around, so they won’t start up for another few days. Which is fine, because those boys need a rest anyway.”
“Ah. Gotcha.”
Chelsea was mindlessly eating her sandwich and seemed thoroughly preoccupied, and I started to become worried.
“You feelin’ alright? Did something happen while I was working?” I asked.
“Not at all. Why would you think that?”
“You just seem a little… off, I guess.”
I watched her nod slowly, but when she set her sandwich down and sighed, I knew I’d hit a nerve.
“Chelsea, what’s going on,” I prodded, “are you getting nauseous again? Is your head still hurting?”
“No no no, nothing like that,” she sighed. I saw tears rise to her eyes and I immediately dropped my sandwich. I got up and went over to her and dropped down to my knee, and that’s when I watched her face crinkle up.