“You’re right.” I could see that he was taken aback at my agreement and added, “I see that now. I should have tried harder to make you a part of his life and my decision not to is something that I will always have to deal with. I can’t change the past but I am willing to work with you to make the future better for everyone involved here. I am ready to do right by both you and Noah so I am begging you that we try to move past this and focus on what is best for him.”
“And that is knowing his father loves him and is willing to die to protect him,” Wyatt said. “I should tell him. He has the right to know just like I did.”
I panicked and closed the distance between us with haste. I grabbed a hold of Wyatt’s arms and tugged.
“Have you told him? Please, tell me you didn’t, Wyatt. Not like this. Not without me,” I cried.
“Of course I didn’t. I am still a stranger to him. I’m not going to just spring it on the poor kid,” he replied, pulling away from my touch like he couldn’t stand it.
I breathed a sigh of relief, my body sagging with the feeling. I refused to focus of the aching disappointment of having him visibly pull away from me.
“But doesn’t he already know? He said you have a picture of me.”
I nodded. “Yeah, I do. But I haven’t said the words of who you are to him. But we will together, when he feels better.”
“And if he’s better tomorrow, will we tell him then?” He asked as if expecting me to say no.
I meant what I said. Noah was a growing boy who needed a father figure in his life. He was already noticing the fact that other kids at the daycare had daddies in their lives and he didn’t. I had fielded the questions he had so far but I knew his curiosity would only make the situation more volatile.
He needed to be told that he had a father who obviously cared for him. I would never deny him that. Not again.
“Yes, Wyatt. I just want him to feel good when he gets the news.”
Wyatt didn’t get a chance to respond because we interrupted.
“Mommy?”
The small voice had both our heads turning sharply toward the living room then we were both moving.
I got to Noah first. He was sitting up on the couch, the blanket pooled around his hips. His cute little mouth was stretched in a yawn and his was rubbing his tired eyes.
I pulled him into a hug.
Wyatt stood behind the couch, watching the display with a guarded expression.
When I kept the embrace too long, Noah began to squirm. I let him go, pulled back and smoothed his hair way from his face, feeling for his temperature in the same movement.
He was cool to the touch.
“Did you have a good time with… Mr. Murphy?” I asked.
Wyatt's jaw clenched at my hesitation.
Noah glanced back at Wyatt and the man’s expression instant change to one of utter devotion. It was like watching the sun suddenly break through the clouds.
It made regret settle in my stomach. I really should have told him about Noah sooner. Because I hadn’t they had both missed out on so much.
“Oh, that we did,” Wyatt said, ruffling Noah’s hair. “Didn’t we, buddy?”
“Oh yeah.” Noah perked up at the attention. “Wyatt – he told me I could call him that – and me are best friends now,” he announced.
“That’s great,” I told him, injecting false joy into my voice. “But you have to say goodbye to Wyatt now. We gotta go baby, get you to bed.”
“Awww Mommy, do we have to? I want to watch Spiderman with Wyatt again. He promised we could.”
“And you will. Just not right now.” I made my voice firm and he settled down with a pout.
I went over to where his bag was on the table and shouldered it.