In reality, I knew what it was like all too well. I’m sure my expression when I was taken away for the first time had mirrored Sarah’s exactly. After the fifth time, probably not so much. It got a little easier each time, but that was only because I felt a little deader inside each time. Fuck, I had gotten dark in my adulthood.
From the corner of my eye, I saw Tessa tilting her head. “Do you know someone who was taken away? I mean, in your personal life?” she asked.
“Yeah. I guess you can say that.”
“Who was it?”
Me.
My situation had been the opposite of Sarah’s in some ways though. My mom passed when I was so young that I had no memories of her. I had been raised by my dad. He had brought women into our household who had exposed me to things no child should have had to endu
re. Things took an ultimate turn for the worst when he remarried. My stepmother abhorred me, and the feeling quickly became mutual. Unfortunately, my dad couldn’t function without women in his life, so he either turned a blind eye to the animosity between us, or was too naïve to notice until things escalated out of control. When my gym teacher noticed all the burn marks on my arms, that’s when all Hell broke loose. Those burn marks caused so much trouble that in adulthood, I covered my arms with tattoos just to hide them. But not even the pain I endured getting inked-up could match the pain and heartache those burns had caused.
Ms. McDowell may not have been on the shortlist for any Mother-of-the-Year awards, but at least she had shed tears at the sight of her daughter being taken away. My dad—he had stood there with a forced calm. When I began to scream and cry, he offered no words of comfort, he didn’t reach out for me. He didn’t yell at the people taking me away either. He just fixed me with a stern gaze and shook his head as if telling me to stop crying.
The last words he said to me before I was dragged out of the door of the shabby house I had called home for eight years was, “You’re all right. Don’t worry about it.”
I think what bothered me most was not knowing whether my dad just hadn’t cared, or if he was just trying to put on a brave face for my sake.
Swimming in memories from the past, I was brought back to the present when Tessa touched my knee. “Hey, you okay?”
“Yeah. I’m all right. Don’t worry about it,” I said, grimacing as my dad’s voice echoed through my brain.
“Who was taken away, Evan?”
I cleared my throat. “My dad—he uhm…”
“Your dad was a foster child?”
I shook my head. “No, not him.”
Tessa stared at me with wide eyes, and I knew she had guessed the truth by then. I took a deep breath and stared straight ahead, unsure of how much I wanted to tell her.
“My mom died when I was practically a baby. So it was just me and my dad until he started bringing around a bunch of different women. Some of them were nice, I guess. But others—not so much. There was one in particular—she caused a lot of trouble for us. My dad wasn’t quite sure what to do about it. But I was taken away before he could figure it out. I grew up with a few foster families.”
“How did your foster families treat you?”
The stinging returned to my eyes. “Fucking rough. Very rough. No matter how badly you’re treated, a part of you will always long for the family you were born to.” I shrugged my shoulders. “It doesn’t matter though. I just hope Sarah ends up with a good family. Good families can be hard to find. I wouldn’t wish what I went through on my worst enemy.”
CHAPTER 10
Tessa
I knew Evan was giving me the edited version of his story, because the expression on his face clearly insinuated that the hardships he’d endured as a child were more than he could bear discussing.
He sat there, staring off into oblivion with his dark eyes misty with the tears he fought hard hold back; it was simultaneously heartbreaking and beautiful to behold. Seeing such a large, muscular, and dignified man in such a vulnerable moment—it was like I could see a glimpse of the child he had once been. A part of me wanted to sweep that child into my arms and make sure no one ever hurt him again.
And then there was the man—the accomplished, tough-as-nails doctor. With him, I was feeling the urge to kiss away any bad memory he possibly possessed.
I carefully set down my cup of tea so that I could rub Evan’s back. He tensed slightly at my touch before relaxing into it. I continued rubbing my hands over the taut muscles so easily felt through his shirt. The gesture was only meant to comfort him, but it was also igniting the desire I felt for him…The desire I desperately needed to push aside because we were in the workplace and needed to keep things purely professional.
Evan set his own coffee down and sighed. To my surprise, he then leaned against me and placed his hand on my knee.
The scent of his cologne growing more intoxicating by the second, I found myself placing my head on his shoulder, breathing him in. “We just have to hope for the best. The only for certain thing is that if child protective services hadn’t been called, Sarah would have stayed in a situation where she was sure to get hurt. At least now, we’re giving her a chance to be safe.”
Evan nodded. “Yeah, I know that.”
He turned his head toward me, and it became apparent how dangerously close we were. All I could see were his lips…