She was uncomfortable.
And I hated that I made her feel that way.
“I wanted to talk about what happened the other night,” I said.
“Who was that woman?” Libby asked.
“A crazy ex of mine. I have a restraining order against her for some things she pulled towards the end of our relationship.”
“Is she the reason why you don’t have time for cultivating relationships?”
“In a sense.”
“Graham, I might not have a glamorous job or have glamorous things, but I know when people are holding things back. You’re guarded. I’ve been burned enough by men to know when they’re keeping secrets.”
“I’m sure you have secrets of your own,” I said.
“None that interrupt dates in high profile places to throw wine in my face, no.”
“Gloria… wasn’t always that kind of person. But she morphed into being that kind of person with me. Part of me not wanting a traditional relationship is because I know my life is high-pressure. And the pressure got to her.”
“So you feel responsible for the person she turned into.”
“In a sense, yes.”
“What else aren’t you telling me?” she asked.
“Libby, I can’t-”
“I know you’re not looking for anything traditional. And really, I’m okay with that. I’m not in any position to get caught up in… whatever this is anyway. I don’t have the funds to keep buying new clothes whenever you want to take me out somewhere nice,” she said.
“You don’t have to buy new clothes,” I said. “You can wear whatever makes you comfortable.”
“So if you took me to a restaurant by the sea and I walked in wearing this, you wouldn’t have an issue with it?”
I eyed her up and down, pausing long enough to make her sigh.
“Libby, I didn’t say anything.”
“You didn’t have to,” she said. “Look, I’m glad you came by to talk. But I know there’s a lot you’re not telling me. And just like you don’t want to get into some sort of traditional relationship, I don’t want to have to look over my shoulder during every date I have with some guy I barely know.”
“Nothing like that is going to ever happen again. I have a restraining order against her, Libby.”
“And that seemed to really help a few nights ago.”
“I’ve been burned. Bad,” I said. “And I think you have, too. But I’m not the only one being guarded here. You are as well. Every single wall you have right now is thrown up, and I’m trying to tap on them lightly to get you to peek out from around them.”
“What do you want?” she asked. “Why are you here?”
It was a good question, and one I wasn’t sure how to answer.
“I’d like another chance,” I said.
“To… what? Take me out to dinner?” she asked.
“Yes. But not only that. I’d like another chance to try and form something with you.”
“I thought you didn’t want that.”