It was no secret her business was doing well. Mom heard from Sasha that she bought that bigger space she wanted in the city. At least someone knew she was okay, and that brought me some comfort. But I wanted to talk to her myself. Hear that voice of hers, see her beautiful eyes.
They haunted me. I would close my eyes and see them, and see her smile. I was in hell and the only way out was to be with her.
I grabbed my suit jacket, I still hate suits—and headed to my meeting. I was trying to buy an app startup company, something about an app compilation software. I just knew I wanted it, and I was keeping it. I didn’t plan on selling it off. The guys behind it were young and impressionable, but I didn’t plan on cheating them.
They were sun tanned and fresh out of college, it reminded me of myself. We met in the conference room and went back and forth.
“You’re worth ten million, tops.” I leaned back, exchanging looks with both of them.
“We hadn’t expected it to be that high.” Jason—at least I think that’s his name, was the head founder. The other one handled the business side of things.
“Yeah, but I’m only offering eight million and you keep three percent ownership, two percent of profits.”
They asked to discuss it and when I got back, I bought their company for eight million. Everything was looking up.
Until I was home, exhausted, and staring at my phone. Willing it to ring. I did the same thing every night.
Natalie called me, breaking up the noise on the action movie.
“You’re sulking again.”
“I’m not.” I sounded dejected as hell, so of course she was right.
“You know, you weren’t even like this after Vivian. You really loved Emilia.” My throat lumped at the sound of her name.
I had to tell myself to calm down, that it wasn’t that serious. But it was. I don’t even miss Vivian. I am not even mad at her anymore. I literally feel nothing when I think of her, but when I think of Emilia, I feel everything.
“I still do. Maybe she’ll answer the phone one day.”
What I couldn’t believe the most was that I opened myself up to this pain again. The heartbreak. I told myself not to get involved with any more women but Emilia forced her way into my heart. I was defenseless, and we didn’t stand a chance.
“I’m sure she will. She just…probably feels bad about blaming you. Because it was not really your fault at all.”
“I don’t know. Maybe it was. I don’t really want to talk about it anymore.” We would be at it all night if I didn’t shut it down now. Her psychoanalysis skills were dangerous, I ended up divulging every dark secret of my life.
“Okay. Well, Kevin has stopped travelling. Maybe one day we can have dinner.”
“I don’t know, I’m real busy with work now. Maybe.” I downed my third beer. For a time, I was getting drunk almost every night. But then I started getting serious with work, and I was getting too old to do that. I did like my liver. So now I just give myself a good enough buzz to let me get some sleep.
I missed her body against mine. Her softness, and her warmth. I would do anything to get it back.
“I understand. Just try to keep your head up, Tristan. It will get better.”
“Thanks Nat. I’ll talk to you later.”
“Okay, bye.”
My sister, she was kind of the best. Sometimes. I knew I don’t know what I would do without her. I couldn’t talk to mom about it because she wouldn’t really understand. Her and dad didn’t jump through any hoops to be together.
I kept willing my phone to ring. For Emilia to text me. Anything.
But like every night since Emilia left me in that room, it never did.
Chapter Thirty: Emilia
I wanted to call or text him every day.
I should never have said those things to him at the wedding. It wasn’t his fault I wanted to be with him. I still do.