He stiffened against me, but he didn’t let go. “We’ve done it enough times. Doing it again won’t hurt us.”
I had to laugh at that, but there was nothing funny about this. “We did it before I knew this about you. I never knew you cared about me the way I cared about you. I thought it was all just a good time to you. Now I find out it wasn’t. I don’t want to do anything to endanger this. Just for tonight, let’s kiss and say good night. We can come back together later, and we’ll be that much stronger.”
He gave me a quick peck. “Are you sure about that?”
I nodded.
He moved back and slid one hand down his stomach to his cock. He squeezed his package, and his abs contracted to thrust his hips toward me. “So, what am I supposed to do with this?”
I bit back a smile. “Save it for me.”
“I don’t have to save it for you. I can deal with this myself and have another one just as hard when you’re ready for it.”
I drew him back into my arms. “Thanks. That’s what I want.”
When I kissed him this time, the passion flared hotter than ever. Did I really think I could turn him away on my doorstep? He mouthed me to a raging inferno. He crushed my ass in one big hand and tormented my sensitive mound on his cruel spike. Oh, if I could only get at that thing, I could satisfy all my deepest desires. I never wanted anything as much as I wanted that.
He quit before I did. He pushed me back and left me standing on my doorstep cold and alone. His fingers trailed off my hand. “Until next time.” He kissed my knuckles. “Sleep tight.”
I could only stand there staring at him while he yanked the car door open, fired up the Porsche, and motored down the street out of sight. A thousand doubts and fears plagued my brain. I should have let him in. I should have spent the night with him. I should have told him everything.
What could I really tell him, after all? I didn’t really know for sure. I couldn’t see him again until I knew for absolutely, positively sure where we stood.
I fumbled with my keys. My hands shook, and I missed the lock more than once. When I finally got the door open, I went straight to my bedroom. I took off my dress and put on my old pajamas. I wadded up my hair in a knot on top of my head and went into the bathroom.
I took off all my makeup before I dared look at myself in the mirror. No masks. No decoration. Just me, myself, and I. I stood there regarding myself in the mirror. I had to face myself as myself. I couldn’t hide from myself at this moment.
I opened the medicine cabinet and took out the cardboard box. In bright letters emblazoned across it, I read those fateful words, Home Pregnancy Test. I had to know the truth. I had to know before I ever laid eyes on Brady Townsend again.
I couldn’t stand there staring at it all night. I tore it open, got out the dipstick, and sat down on the toilet. I put the stick on the counter and went into the bedroom. I turned down the bed and switched off my phone. Whatever the result, I would need some quiet
time alone after reading it to take stock of my life. I had to face tomorrow with my head up, whatever the outcome.
No matter what I found in that bathroom, my life would change. I couldn’t go throwing myself away anymore. I had to move in the future with sure, certain steps. I had to get absolute clarity on what I was doing and do it without flinching.
I sat down on my bed and gave myself a pedicure. Brady’s presence haunted that bed. I brought him home with me, even when he drove away to the other side of town. I would curl up in that bed, put my arms around him, and tell him my darkest secrets. I would kiss him and rest my head on his chest. He would comb my hair off my face and rub my back.
Why did I ever think I could live my life without his protective presence? Why did I think I was better off without this touchstone guiding me and filling my life with meaning?
The clock on my bedside table registered twenty minutes. The results would certainly but up by now. I put away my pedicure set and rubbed my eyes. I was already half asleep. Even as I stepped through the bathroom door, a deep inner knowing filled me with the light of truth. I knew what I would find before I picked up the test.
It was positive.
13
Brady
“Vegas, baby!” Sam and Charlie waved their arms and shouted through the windows of the first-class Lexus I rented for this weekend getaway “Come on, Brady!” Charlie shouted. “We’ll be late.”
I slammed the trunk. Half a dozen groomsmen crowded the seats as I slid into the driver’s seat. “Late! Are you crazy? We’re leaving three hours early. If we leave right now, we’ll have all that time to wait before the bachelor party.”
“Well, we don’t want to miss anything.” Sam did a little dance in his seat. “Vegas, here we come!”
I threw the Lexus into drive and checked the traffic on all sides. I pulled out into traffic. “Where are the girls?”
A little Toyota Celica skidded around the corner. One glance showed me Helena behind the wheel. Mandy sat at her side, and Victoria and another bridesmaid crowded into the back seat. Loud music thumped through the open driver’s window.
Victoria glanced back at me, and I lifted my fingers off the steering wheel to give he a subtle wave. She turned around fast so I couldn’t see her face, but I didn’t have to see to know her cheeks burned when she saw me. They always did. Why did I make her so nervous? I just might get a chance to sneak off with her again this weekend. My cock twitched thinking about it.