“No, we didn’t. You asked me a question I didn’t expect before I’d even woken up. That isn’t a conversation,” he said.
“Hold on,” I said. “Hello?”
“Ava, it’s Hunter. Where are you?”
“I’m out and about. What’s wrong? You sound frantic,” I said.
“It’s been interesting since you left. You apparently told Dad you went on a date?” he asked.
“So what if I did?” I asked.
“I don’t care, you are your own person. But you need to get home. Dad’s calling a family meeting and he’s expecting you to be there.”
“And if I don’t show up?” I asked.
I saw Travis look back at me from the coffee pot as he started to prepare it. Part of me wanted to stay and have coffee with him. Talk about this once the two of us had woken up. But I was filled with emotions I didn't understand and I had books in my car I knew could help me decipher them. Psychological books and sociological books. Books on human interaction and books on sex. I had to get back to them in order to help figure out what in the world I was feeling.
So we could have this conversation intelligently. Like two adults.
“If you’re going to show Dad you can make your own decisions as an adult, then you need to start making decisions with an adult mind. You don’t have to listen to what he has to say, but an adult would show up,” Hunter said.
“You’re right,” I said with a sigh. “Let me clean myself up a bit and I’ll come home.”
“I’m not going to even ask, but if you’re talking about what I think you’re talking about—”
“I’m taking a shower, you doofus. I didn’t take one last night,” I said.
I wasn’t about to reveal to my overprotective brother that I’d just lost my virginity to a stranger who was a decade older than me.
“Fine,” Hunter said. “But get home soon. It starts in an hour.”
“I’ll be there, don’t worry,” I said.
I hung up the phone and gathered my purse as I searched for my shoes. I found them shoved underneath the couch and I tried to reach for them. My fingers couldn't get to them and I snickered as I shook my head, but then the couch suddenly lifted off the floor.
I looked up and saw Travis holding up the couch for me so I can get to them.
I reached a little farther and got my shoes before he set the couch back down to the ground. I watched every muscle in his body flex with the effort, and I had to turn my head away to stay in control of my heart. It slammed against my chest as my skin cried out for him. Blood rushed through my ears and landed straight between my legs. I wanted him. I craved him. I needed to feel close to him again.
But I couldn't have him right now. There was too much going on I had to process.
I slipped my feet into my shoes and headed for the door. Travis didn't try to stop me and I didn't give him an opening to try. I ripped the front door open and walked out onto the porch, quickly heading for my car. My legs carried me as fast as I could as the memory of last night bombarded my mind.
Travis stood in the doorway, his torso bare and his eyes locked hard onto me. I jammed my keys into the ignition, needing to get out of there quicker. I knew if he stared into my eyes anymore than he already was, I would stay. I would stay and have a conversation I was not ready to have and I would miss the family meeting that would paint me as an adult in the eyes of my father. I needed to be there for that meeting. I needed to stand by my brothers and rally against my parents for a better life.
But I also needed to cope with the adult decision I had already made.
I made a decision that w
as life altering to me last night, and I needed to deal with the emotions that came with it. I needed to accept the consequences of my decision, no matter what had influenced it. That was what an adult did, and that was what I had to do.
I couldn’t do that in the presence of Travis, however. I knew that much.
I pulled away and watched as the cabin receded in my rearview mirror. I watched him step out onto the porch, his eyes following after me as my car receded from his view. He was nothing but an ant-like figure in my mirror before my eyes blurred my vision with tears.
I was angry and I was hurt and I felt empty inside.
I thought being an adult was going to feel better than this. I thought being with Travis was going to feel better than this. I thought my life was going to be easier and filled with decisions to make my life a better place. I didn’t expect to feel things like this. To feel an aching sadness in the pit of my chest.