“What do you mean?” he asked.
“My car is packed full of stuff. I’ve got this envelope of money my brothers gave me so I could finally get myself to California. But, I don’t really want to be in California.”
“Then don’t go.”
“Exactly. But then I had to ask myself what I really wanted. You know, like you did last night.”
I felt Travis’ eyes on me as my cheeks flushed underneath his gaze.
“What is it that you want?” he asked.
“I want to contribute something to the world. I want to do something good. But I don’t want to do it without my brothers. I draw my strength from them, and the farther away I get from them, the weaker and more vulnerable I feel. And maybe that’s not a good thing. But for now, I can identify that about myself. And that’s big for me.”
“It’s big for anyone, becoming that self-aware,” he said.
“But having my brothers in my life means going back home and standing up to my father. Telling him I’m not taking his shit anymore.”
“Are you going to be okay doing that?” he asked.
“I mean even if I wasn’t, what am I gonna do? That’s the only course of action I’ve got right now.”
I turned my gaze over to Travis and studied his face. He was thinking about something. I could see it rolling around behind his eyes. I waited patiently on the couch for him to say something about it. For him to mention what it was he was gathering his thoughts on.
But instead, he only nodded his head.
“Well, if things go south, you know where I am,” Travis said.
“Yeah. I do.”
“Are you going back today?” he asked.
“No reason in putting off the inevitable. No matter how long I wait, it’s going to start a firefight.”
“Just stay safe. Okay? That’s important.”
“I will. I promise.”
I took a quick shower and changed my clothes, then watched as Travis’ body receded in the background. Having that night with him last night gave me a strength I had been waiting to possess. His body and his lips instilled within me a confidence I had yet to explore within myself. I was a little closer to establishing what I wanted for my life, with no help at all from my father, and now it was time to put my foot down.
The only control he had over me was the control I had willingly given him for the last twenty two years of my life.
I barreled up the driveway and saw my brothers in the yard. Their faces paled as they ran toward me, their arms flagging me down. Hunter had this surprised expression on his face as he opened my door, but Lorenzo interjected before Hunter could say anything.
“What the hell are you doing here? Father’s fucking pissed.”
“Why did you come back?” Finn said. “We gave you the money you needed.”
“Why don’t you give her space and let her explain,” Hunter said.
“I can’t leave you guys,” I said. “I thought that getting away from Dad was the solution, but it’s not. I want my brothers in my life. Which means I had to come back here. I can’t take you guys with me, but I can try to stand up to Dad.”
“This isn’t going to end well,” Finn said.
“We can’t cover your ass this time,” Lorenzo said.
“Don’t worry. You don’t have to. Just walk with me inside,” I said.
The four of us entered the house and my mother rushed to my side. She wrapped her arms around me, holding me close as she cried into my hair. She covered me in kisses as I stood there, my brothers all watching from the foyer.