I wasn’t ready to admit to them that I had made the same mistake twice.
Every once in awhile, my twin brothers would knock on my door and for a split second, my heart would slam in my chest. I would convince myself it was Ava until I opened the door, taking in the sight of my brothers standing there. Disappointment would pool in my chest as they peppered me with questions, and all it did was bring Ava back to the forefront of my mind.
I deserved better than this. I knew I did. And Ava did, too. She deserved better than the life I could have ever given her. This much I was sure of. But I wanted her. The selfish part of me wanted her more than I could understand. I was worried about her. I wanted to know what her father had done with her. I wanted to know if she was still making it okay. I wanted to know if her brothers were still standing at her side and if her mother had found her strength. I wanted to know if she was fighting her battles or if she had caved. Because if she caved and if she needed it, I had no issues knocking on her father's door and taking her away forever.
But I had no way of knowing anything. I had no way of contacting her. There was nothing. Only myself, my wandering thoughts, and my dreams. She was there one second and gone the next, like waking up from a nightmare and feeling the panic quickly wash from your veins.
I went from having hope to having nothing. And as I looked in the mirror and stared at the haggard face of the man I’d become, I relinquished myself to the truth.
I had allowed myself to love Ava, even though she had never loved me back.
Twenty-Three
Travis
As I walked through the woods and ventured towards the edge of the mountain, I gazed out over the sight. I breathed in the freshly scented air and took in the birds and bugs chirping around me. The ground beneath my feet felt sweeter than ever. Like it was carrying me along my pain as the wind whipped around my body.
We had won the case. Breathline Energies put up an incredible fight, but our lawyer was more prepared than ever. My father appeared in court with all the documents he needed and took on Ava’s father head on. Not only did we win the lawsuit to keep our land, but we were also able to push through our protection paperwork. The judge had ruled in our favor to protect the mountains of Kettle we owned because of the endangered species that dwelled within these forests.
But then, the judge dealt a final blow to Breathline.
The judge ruled that Breathline Energies was, in fact, harassing us. The courts ordered them to pay a fine not only to the government, but to us as well. That money was then going to sit in an investment account my father could draw from to pay the property taxes on this land for the next ten years.
I smiled as the warm sunshine beat down upon my skin.
It had been three months since I’d seen Ava, but it wasn’t getting any easier to forget her. Now that this debacle with her father’s company was behind us, I was hoping I could get my life back to normal. No more meetings in town with the lawyer and no more mentioning of her father’s company. I knew once I could unload those reminders of her off my back it would be easy to forget her.
At least, I hoped it would be.
I stood at the edge of the mountain and looked out towards the horizon. As far as my eye could see, there were lush, rolling mountains. And we owned all of it outright. Putting protections on this land meant my father no longer had to deal with companies wanting to purchase it for their own personal gain. No longer would my father be harassed by other companies wanting to strongarm us into selling. Now, our family’s company could get on to bigger and better things.
Like my father handing it down to myself and my brothers.
The lawsuit took a great toll on my father. The stress and the late nights almost did him in, putting him in the hospital twice. My mother was insistent that he step down from the board of the company, but he wasn’t having it. He was determined to fight my mother every step of the way.
Until he had his heart attack.
After a double bypass surgery and many touch-and-go days in the hospital, my father made the decision to transfer ownership of the company to myself, Jasper, and Leo. It would take a couple of months to arrange everything, but it was time we all stepped up. The stress of this lawsuit almost buried our father, and our mother deserved better than this. She deserved her Florida lifestyle with my father at her side. They deserved fresh key lime pies and tangy margaritas and morning mimosas while sitting on the porch. The two of them had worked tirelessly to build up this company, and now it was time to rest.
As I stood there watching the sun set, I was reminded of that night. The night of the storm and how Ava came barreling into my world. How easily it could have been for her to die had I not been listening out that night for her father’s own land poachers. It was ironic, how her father’s devious wants had inevitably saved his daughter's life.
I drew in one last breath before I made my way back to the cabin. The walk was long and dark, and it gave me time to think. I wondered how Ava was doing. If she was okay and living the life she wanted. I swallowed my anger at the situation and forced myself to look at this from her perspective. To try and see all of this through her eyes. She only had so much control over her world, and if her father had forced her out of Kettle there was nothing she could do about it. There was nothing I could have done about it.
There was nothing anyone could have done about it.
I emerged from the woods and started down the path towards my cabin. The mountain was getting darker and the stars were beginning to twinkle. The nighttime air was growing colder and my toes were beginning to turn numb. No matter what time of the year it was, it always seemed like winter when the night blanketed my lonely mountain.
But nothing prepared me for the sight I saw when I approached my porch.
There, in all of her shivering glory, was Ava. Her long brown hair cascaded down her back as her legs shivered on the porch. Her arms were wrapped around her chest as she knocked again at my door, her car sitting in my driveway as it cooled down with its creaks and groans.
I stood there, just feet from the porch. Watching her as she knocked on my door again. I couldn’t believe it. After three months of worrying over her and wondering where the fuck she had gone… she was back.
“Travis? Are you in there? It’s me. Ava.”
“Hello, Ava,” I said.
She squealed and jumped, whipping her cold body around as her beautiful eyes landed on mine. I studied her body, looking for any signs of distress. Bruises or scratches. Bandages or limps. But the only hurt I saw was in her eyes.