“Coffee’s almost ready.”
“Could I… change something?” she asked.
I turned my gaze over towards her as she lost herself in thought.
“Could I just do cream? In my coffee?” she asked.
I put down the spoonful of sugar and added a bit more creamer.
“Of course you can,” I said. “All you have to do is ask.”
Thirteen
Ava
I enjoyed being at Travis’ cabin. He was interesting to talk to and a comfort to be around. I felt like I could be myself and make my own decisions without him judging me for them. We ate breakfast together in silence as I studied him, and every once in awhile his eye could catch mine. I enjoyed the way he made me feel. His eyes would rake down my body when he thought I wasn’t looking, pulling from me a desire I hadn’t ever felt before. The pleasure he had washed over my body that night had taken my breath away, but it also started my mind whirling with thoughts.
Him making me communicate to him about what I wanted got me thinking about other things I wanted. From life and from myself and from my family. I knew I needed to get away from them, but I didn’t really want to. I would miss my brothers too much, but I had somehow convinced myself that my only course of action was to run. I had other roads. I could stand up to my father and tell him what I thought. I could tell him what I was going to do with my life instead of caving to his every notion. I could make a life for myself that still had my brothers in it instead of casting them aside as I fled to California.
Plus, I had no idea what I would do when I got to California. I had no formal education and no knowledge of the culture there. I didn’t know what kind of people lived there or what kind of company I could build for myself. But there was one company I was knowledgeable about. One company I had grown up around my entire life. There was one company I knew I could have input in. One I could help.
One I was born into.
“Whatcha thinking about?” Travis asked.
“Honestly? I’m thinking about standing up to my father,” I said.
“That’s a pretty hefty goal, from what you’ve told me about him in passing.”
“I know, but the road I’m on now really isn’t one I want to be on,” I said.
“What do you mean?” he asked.
“My car is packed full of stuff. I’ve got this envelope of money my brothers gave me so I could finally get myself to California. But, I don’t really want to be in California.”
“Then don’t go.”
“Exactly. But then I had to ask myself what I really wanted. You know, like you did last night.”
I felt Travis’ eyes on me as my cheeks flushed underneath his gaze.
“What is it you want?” he asked.
“I want to contribute something to the world. I want to do something good. But I don’t want to do it without my brothers. I draw my strength from them, and the farther away I get from them, the weaker and more vulnerable I feel. And maybe that’s not a good thing. But for now, I can identify that about myself. And that’s big for me.”
“It’s big for anyone, becoming that self-aware,” he said.
“But having my brother’s in my life means going back home and standing up to my father. Telling him I’m not taking his shit anymore.”
“Are you going to be okay doing that?” he asked.
“I mean, even if I wasn’t, what am I gonna do? That’s the only course of action I’ve got right now.”
I turned my gaze over to Travis and studied his face. He was thinking about something. I could see it rolling around behind his eyes. I waited patiently on the couch for him to say something about it. For him to mention what it was he was gathering his thoughts on.
But instead, he only nodded his head.
“Well, if things go south, you know where I am,” Travis said.