That wasn’t quite true. He’d said a lot. Just nothing about his dad or leaving Rock Valley High. The whole thing made me nauseous.
“I need to know exactly what happened.” Ally pulled me toward a ragged couch in the living room and practically pushed me onto it. “Girl, spill. Tell me everything.”
I hesitated. There was a lot to unpack from the last two months. A lot of secrets and things that I hadn’t even mentioned to my best friends. But I needed to talk to someone. Get someone’s outside perspective. And right now, the best person to give that to me was sitting right next to me on the couch.
I started at the beginning, telling her about the beach house and the party. I told her about our kiss arrangement and the song. It was surprisingly easy to talk to Ally. She sat silently, her eyes wide, but not a trace of judgment in her expressions. And when I got to the part about him talking about his mom and how he couldn’t fall in love, I started to break down, my voice becoming ragged.
“And then he said he was sorry and I ran away,” I finished, wiping away a tear. “That’s it.”
Ally had a look of awe on her face as she leaned back into the couch cushions. Her gaze darted around the room for a few seconds until it settled back on me and she made a face.
“That stupid, no good, dirty rotten boy. I swear, I’m going to kill him. The moment I get my hands on him, I’m going to slap some sense into him.”
I chuckled through the tears and shook my head. “I don’t want to hurt him, I just want to finish this song so that I never have to talk to him again.”
“Audrey, don’t you get it?” She leaned toward me, grasping both of my knees with her iron grip. “That boy loves you. I know it. Just like I know Prince William and Kate Middleton were meant to be. He’s just a stupid, idiotic boy who thought that pushing you away would be easier than saying goodbye.”
My head shook back and forth so hard I thou
ght I heard something crack. “No. He was very clear that he wasn’t falling for me. He basically made it sound like he was kissing me because he was bored.”
“Audrey...”
“Ally, boys like that don’t go for girls like me.” I put my feet on the couch cushion and wrapped my arms tightly around my knees, making myself as small as possible. “That’s just the way it is. But I’ve accepted that.”
She exhaled loudly, and I could feel her watching me. It was nice of her to try and make me feel better. Take away the rejection that still stung so badly. But the truth was that one way or another, Collin and I weren’t meant to be. That was just the way it was.
Suddenly, Ally stood from the couch and walked toward Collin’s door. She paused in front of it with her arms crossed and glared at me. It was quite a frightening sight coming from a person who was always so ridiculously cheerful. Like someone had turned off the sun.
“Listen, Audrey, I’m not going to argue with you. Believe it or not, I know that Collin has feelings for you and I know that scares him. He might never admit it, but as someone who knows what it’s like to deal with a cruddy past, sometimes we lose the ability to look to the future. He’s running away when he should be running forward. He needs to be reminded that you’re still here for him. His dad only lives an hour away. I could take you there, now.”
I shook my head again. Everything she was saying, all of these excuses for why Collin had pushed me away didn’t matter. Ally had to see that. Crossing the room, I went straight to Collin’s door and turned the knob. The door swung open to reveal an immaculately made bed and Collin’s furniture. Gone were any little remnants of him. His guitar. His clothes. Nothing left to hold onto.
“Even if I believed you,” I said, turning toward her with pain leaking into my voice. “He’s gone. Nothing is going to change that.”
She grimaced. “But what if you two could talk—”
“He didn’t even say good-bye, Ally. He doesn’t want to talk to me. He’s going to live with his dad and work at a garage. And I’ll be here. Alone. That’s just the way it is and you have to accept that.”
I wasn’t sure if that last part was for her or me, but my blood pressure had skyrocketed so high I saw spots in the corner of my eyes. Ally could spin things as much as she wanted. Tell me the sky was pink and sparkly and made of bubble gum. But all the cheerful excuses in the world couldn’t make up for the fact that Collin had left. Without a goodbye. And I was left picking up the pieces.
“I’m sorry, Audrey.” Ally blinked back tears and pulled me into a tight hug. The scent of her vanilla perfume filled my head. “I’m so sorry.”
“I know.” I untangled myself from her arms and gave her a sad smile. “It’s not your fault. But hey, if you ever see Collin again, don’t forget you offered to slap some sense into him for me.”
She gave me a half-hearted smile. “I won’t forget. Promise.”
I started the long trek back to the bus station and to my apartment, all the while thinking about Collin’s sad and empty room. He really had left me to deal with all the damage. No explanation, no note. And now, I had no choice but to do the final performance without him.
It was what I’d wanted in the beginning. A solo in front of the entire town. Except now, it felt all wrong. My entire life felt wrong.
I still wasn’t speaking to my dad. Savannah had me under her hateful thumb on the cheerleading team. And Collin was gone.
I didn’t know how I was going to handle this alone.
Chapter Twenty-Two
Rock Valley High was losing. Bad. It was like someone had replaced the entire football teams’ cleats with greased up tennis shoes and swapped our linemen for cardboard cutouts.