My cheeks heated and I turned away. I couldn’t say it aloud. Then, it would be real.
Collin didn’t want me.
The pain and embarrassment of that encounter had stayed with me, even when I pretended to be sick under the covers all day Monday. But as dark as that misery had been, I couldn’t avoid school forever. Not if I wanted to graduate this spring and get out of this town.
Fully expecting to run into Collin in the hallways of Rock Valley High, I’d been relieved to find out that he’d skipped the first day of school this week, too. And the second. Now, it was Wednesday and he was still nowhere in sight. He’d given me just enough time to bow out from the performance and never have to face him alone again.
“Audrey, I’m not sure what happened between you two,” Mrs. Banks continued with a frown, “but unless it’s something criminal, I expect you to work it out. This is your dream. You have to learn how to behave like a professional.” I opened my mouth to argue, but she stopped me. “I’ve put all of my trust in you two. This performance will showcase what the Rock Valley High music department can do. I reject your resignation.”
I swallowed down my disappointment and nodded sullenly. So much for the easy way out. Now, I’d have to face Collin again and try to manage it without bursting into tears or smashing his guitar. Either outcome was very probable at this point.
But as I left Mrs. Banks’ office and wandered toward cheerleading practice, I couldn’t get her words out of my head. This performance really had been my dream. The kicking off point for my music career. I’d told myself over the summer that if I could nail this, I would be a star.
A real music star didn’t let something like a little rejection stand in her way. So, we’d established that Collin and I weren’t meant to be. Did that mean I should let my dreams and aspirations crumble around me?
“A real star doesn’t let anything get in her way,” I mumbled to myself.
My hands curled into tight fists at my side and I gritted my teeth. No matter how much it hurt, I could be strong. I could do this. Collin wasn’t going to hold me back.
So instead of getting changed for practice, I grabbed a bus to take me across town and ended up in front of the large Victorian house that had become like a second home to me. I looked up at the paint peeling off the siding, my heart thundering like I’d just run the fifteen miles to get here. If Collin was still playing hooky, I’d just have to go to him. Let him know we still had a job to do.
And then after — only after — we could part ways. Forever.
I didn’t bother knocking at the front door, but instead walked around to the basement entrance. Inhaling a deep breath through my nose, I marched through the door and into the living space. There was Collin’s door. Closed, just like the last time I’d surprised him with a visit. The day he’d kissed me and then rejected me.
The memory burned bright in my mind, making my chest hurt. Still, I brushed it off as I walked up to the door and knocked so hard, I thought my knuckles would bruise.
“Collin? Are you there? We need to talk.”
Only silence answered me.
“Come on, Collin.” I exhaled loudly, annoyed with this little game. “Just open up.”
“Audrey?” Ally walked down the hallway toward me, her eyes crinkled as if she’d just woken up from a nap. A second later, her yawn confirmed it. “What are you doing here?”
“I need to talk to Collin,” I said, setting my jaw. “He’s been avoiding me, but we still have work to do.”
“Avoiding you?” She ruffled the top of her hair and shot me a puzzled look. “Didn’t he tell you the news? I mean, I thought that’s why you ran out of here the other night so upset.”
I had no idea what she was talking about. “What news?”
She frowned and leaned against the wall. “He moved out to live with his dad.”
My lungs felt as if someone had forced dry ice down my throat. I tried to breathe, but couldn’t get any air.
“W-what do you mean? How is that even possible?”
She offered me a half smile, her eyes full of sympathy. “When a foster kid turns eighteen they’re officially on their own. They get to make their own decisions. And Sunday was Collin’s eighteenth birthday. Believe me, Tripp and Gina weren’t happy, but there’s nothing they could do.”
I pressed a hand to my abdomen. He’d never mentioned his birthday was coming up. Never mentioned that he would be moving away.
“Do you know when he’ll be back at school?” I asked, biting my lower lip. “He hasn’t been at school since last week and we have to discuss our performance.”
“His dad wanted him to come work at the garage immediately. He dropped out of school.” Ally tilted her head to the other side. “Are you saying he didn’t tell you any of this?”
As the last of my courage crumbled, I thought back to Friday when Collin had texted me, wanting to talk. I’d been naive to think he’d wanted to talk about us. He’d had dinner with his dad on Thursday and that must’ve been when he made up his mind to leave. He was going to break the news Friday night. His concussion on the field had thrown everything out of whack.
“No, he didn’t.” I glared furiously at Collin’s door, knowing that he wasn’t inside. “We had an argument and that was it. He didn’t say anything else.”