Also, there was the small fact that I was most definitely not a paranormal person. I was normal with a capital N, and I didn’t like what was happ
ening here one bit.
5
I’d just discovered a murder, been kidnapped, and then offered a job by a talking cat. How much weirder could this day get?
I shook my head vehemently. “Sorry, I already have a job.”
“It’s not up for debate,” the cat hissed back at me. “Get her up to speed and fast, Barnes. My patience here is wearing thin.”
“Okay. Okay. Where to begin?” Officer Parker Barnes wondered aloud while I was left to wonder if he really was a police officer or if it had all been a ruse from the start.
“This time, you probably want to be sitting down,” he said, pulling out a chair for me.
I crossed my arms over my chest and stood firm. “I managed to survive the talking cat without passing out. I think I can handle whatever you’re going to say next.”
“Suit yourself.” He chuckled, but I thought I saw a flicker of respect cross his face. “Lila Haberdash was Beech Grove’s Town Witch, and now that she’s dead the position is open. In the meanwhile, it’s yours.”
“Uh-huh, uh-huh.” I nodded my head adamantly. “There’s just one problem with that.”
“You’re not a witch?” Parker asked with one eyebrow quirked.
“I’m not a witch!” I shouted in confirmation, wringing my hands as I did. “So, thanks but no thanks. I’ll just be on my way.”
“Enough with this game already,” the cat snapped. “If you can’t handle her, I’ll just have to take over. Come here!”
I raced to his side against my own volition. I was really getting sick of all this mind control stuff.
The cat lifted his nose high in the air, leaving me with a perfect view of the small white patch at the top of his chest. Normally, I liked cats. Not enough to own one, mind you, but I liked them well enough when they were other people’s pets. This one, however, had recently risen to the top of my list of people—um, creatures—I didn’t much care for.
“You’ve been hired on to the Paranormal Temp Agency,” he told me with a twitch of his nose and a flick of his tail. “It’s not a job you’re allowed to turn down.”
“I think I know what I’m allow—”
“Stop arguing and listen. You will fill Lila’s old post as Town Witch until we’re able to uncover her actual killer to take on the role permanently. None of this is up for debate.”
“Why does finding the killer matter? Can’t you just put up a job advertisement on Spooks R Us or something?”
“Cute,” he said with a scowl. “You’re filling in for Lila, whether you like it or not. Help us find the murderer, and you’ll be off the hook sooner. End of story.”
Parker cleared his throat, then explained the part that still confused me most. “Magic passes to the nearest host when its original owner passes. So whoever killed Lila likely absorbed her magic—a magic which is grounded in Beech Grove and is meant for its designated witch.”
I stood still, considering this. Parker’s explanation made sense, but it also begged so many new questions. Mainly, what would have happened if no one else had been around? What if Mrs. Haberdash had died of natural causes and then her magic had found its way over to me, the sole resident of the guest house on the edge of her property?
I still didn’t like that I was expected to help clean up this mess when it had nothing to do with me. I felt sad for Mrs. Haberdash, of course. Even though she wasn’t a great landlady, she hadn’t deserved to be murdered. But I also didn’t deserve to be put in harm’s way, especially if the person who’d offed Haberdash decided to come for me next.
Maybe I still had a quick and easy way out of this, though. I raised my hand and pointed at the cat.
“Come to me,” I said, trying to push power into the simple command, the way I’d seen both the cop and the cat do.
Boss cat rolled his eyes. “Should I take this feeble attempt at magic as your confession of guilt?”
“No,” I mumbled as embarrassment burned at my cheeks.
“Even if you do have magic, which at this point I sincerely doubt, you still aren’t strong enough to command me. No one is. That’s why I’m the boss, and you’re the temp. Got it?”
“Whatever,” I answered drolly. “So I don’t have magic. That should be the end of this conversation, then. How can I fill in as the Town Witch without having any magic? Clearly, you’ve got the wrong woman here.”