“Teasing? Please, I’m getting gourmet food here,” he jokes. I offer a small smile and sidle further into the room.
I clear my throat. “I’m sorry you got shot, Mako.”
He quirks a brow. “What part of me getting shot was your fault?”
“The fact that you were there at all? I know you came looking for me, and I appreciate that. But none of that should’ve happened.”
Mako just stares, the intensity in his stare increasing.
“It wasn’t all about you, you know?” I flinch, shame filling my pores.
Stupid, River.
Once again, being selfish and assuming Mako was coming there purely because of me. Of course, Mako had to come looking for Billy. Not only was he the Ghost Killer, but he was holding someone captive. He would’ve come looking regardless.
“I know, that was stup—”
“Billy killed my father. My real father,” he cuts in. I snap my mouth shut, startled by the information. “He was Billy’s first signature victim. Carved ‘Ghost’ into his chest and shot him once in the head. Assumed my father was betraying him or something, I’m guessing. Who really knows why. My need to find the Ghost Killer was because I wanted to avenge my father’s death. He wasn’t a great man, but he didn’t deserve what happened to him.”
I nod slowly. “I’m sorry,” I whisper.
“But then you came along. And turns out you had a close connection with the Ghost Killer. The same man who murdered my father was also actively abusing my girl.” My heart drops when he says my girl. “I was always meant to find Billy, River. But the original plan was to find him and put his ass in prison for the rest of his miserable life. Not attempt to murder him. That—that was about you. He stole you away from me and hurt you in god knows what ways.” He closes his eyes, seemingly losing a bit of control. After a moment, he speaks again. “That was far more personal than what he did to my father. And I wanted him to die for it.”
I’m not sure when tears started tracking down my face, but by the time he’s finished, I’m wiping them away profusely.
“You’re not angry with me anymore?” I question, glancing at him the blurry eyes. A sad smile teases his lips.
“Not anymore. You hid the truth because Billy scared you. Obviously, you had good reason to be scared of him. The only thing I hate is that you didn’t feel safe enough around me to trust me with that information.”
My head is shaking before he finishes his last sentence. I rush to him, carefully sitting on the edge of the bed next to him.
“That wasn’t the issue, Mako. I did—do—feel safe with you. I wasn’t only scared for my own life, I was scared for yours, too. I guess… I guess I just feared Billy more.”
He nods and grabs my hand. I can’t look away from the way his massive hand completely engulfs mine. I feel so small compared to Mako, but instead of that intimidating me, it makes me feel secure.
“He terrorized you your entire life, along with many other men, including my brother. You’ve only known me for a short period of time. I can’t expect your fear and lack of faith in the male population to override the protection I tried to give you. If anyone should be apologizing, it should be me. I tried hard to protect you, and I failed. I’m so sorry for that.” His voice cracks on the last word. More tears flood my eyes, and I’m once more shaking my head.
“Please don’t ever apologize for that. Billy was always going to find me, Mako,” I parrot, stealing his similar words from earlier. “I made it impossible for you because I wanted to save myself. That’s important to me.”
“River, I know you can save yourself. But just because you can, doesn’t mean you always have to. You’re incredibly strong and I admire you for it, but that doesn’t mean I’m going to let you walk through this world alone. You’re no damsel in distress but I’ll be damned if I don’t have my girl’s back while she kicks ass, you understand?”
Unfiltered love fills my chest so tight, it feels as if my heart is a balloon pumped full of helium. I can’t describe the overwhelming feeling that’s taking my soul and ripping it apart, making room for the man next to me. That’s only way I can describe it. Two souls coming together, entwining deep until there is no end to me or him.
“I love you, Mako. I’m sorry I didn’t say it sooner. But I love you so much.”
A cocky smirk adorns his face, and before I can smack it off, he wraps his hand around the back of my neck and pulls me to him, effectively distracting me with his plump lips. Lightening explodes, skating across our connected lips.
Finally, I found a home.
Twenty Nine
River
EIGHT WEEKS LATER
THE KNIFE IN MY HAND trembles. I’m not okay in this moment. My eyes bore into the tomato I was chopping, the red juices dripping off the serrated edge. I was fine and then the red juice slowly turned into blood.
A hand slides across my body. My mind spirals. I feel Billy’s hand. Ryan’s. All of the men that took from me all morphing into one. The hand grips my hip and turns me around. Instinctively, my hand whips up—the one holding the butcher knife—and snaps to his neck.