A beast would have done exactly that. Yet, he could not behave like the animal he’d fought so hard to suppress. Besides, there was something more to this frisson of excitement he experienced upon seeing her, an inexplicable need to look beyond carnal pleasures in the hope of finding a richer treasure.
Feeling her presence at his shoulder, he turned and scanned the dishevelled sight.
“I’d pray Mr. Sutherby doesn’t see you like that else he’ll be retracting his offer.”
She brushed the stringy tendrils back off her shoulders and pulled at her dress as the fabric clung to her damp body. “He hasn’t made me an offer, not yet.”
“I’m sure it’s only a matter of time,” he replied,
not wishing to reveal what he’d heard. “I’ll walk you back to the house. In case, you faint from exposure to the cold and get eaten alive by squirrels.”
She chuckled. “Squirrels?”
“The area is overrun with them,” he replied without raising a smile. Although when she glanced nervously over her shoulder, he had to purse his lips.
He chose not to help her over the stile. To touch her again would be a mistake and he could feel her assessing gaze drifting over his face.
“You didn’t tell me what you were doing out here,” she said, “and before you say anything, I don’t believe you were out walking.”
After preaching about the wisdom of telling the truth, he had no option but to be honest. “I came to spy on the Sutherbys. I don’t like them. They are so affable they make me want to spew on my boots.”
She chuckled again. “There’s nothing wrong with kindness. Perhaps you should try it.”
“It is overrated. Besides, was not my rescuing you from a freezing river an act of kindness?”
“I suppose so. But why are you so concerned about disliking the Sutherbys? I thought you disliked everyone.”
“Not everyone,” he said glancing down at her. “I like Mrs. Shaw.”
Miss Bromwell smiled. “You’re lucky to have her. I don’t know how she puts up with your vile moods and tantrums.”
He knew how lucky he was. The old woman had been an angel in a time of desperate need. When he’d eventually found his way home to Stony Cross, she knew instinctively all was not well with him. It had nothing to do with his filthy clothes and unkempt hair. He’d fallen into her arms and sobbed. It hadn’t taken much to confess his sins, to explain the thirst that controlled him. She’d stood by him, would never abandon him, despite his faults and weaknesses.
As they approached the house, he thought he saw the shadow of a figure in the upstairs window.
“I’ll leave you here,” he said not wanting to alert anyone to his presence. “Next time you decide to go swimming in ice-cold water, I suggest you find a place where someone can hear your cry for help.”
When he turned to walk away, she called out to him. “Do you think you’ll be out walking tomorrow night? Will you come to spy on the Sutherbys again?”
There was no mistaking the warmth in her tone. She wanted to see him, and the thought brought a slight sliver of hope. “That sounds like an invitation, Miss Bromwell.”
She struggled to look at him. “Make of it what you will.”
He did not know what to make of it and so inclined his head and bid her good night before marching off across the lawn. He’d be a fool to meet with her again.
But then he’d been a fool most of his life.
The next day passed in a whirlwind. Alexander spent most of his time secluded in his study, sketching, thinking, and feeling. He’d recounted the events of the previous night so many times his head felt as though it was filled with lead.
Just when he’d made the decision not to return to Mytton Grange, a voice in his ear reminded him there were too many coincidences to simply ignore. Miss Bromwell struggled to sleep at night. She enjoyed swimming naked in the moonlight. Well, she hadn’t really enjoyed the experience but she would if she swam with him. She was the only person he knew who ignored his temper, the only person capable of banishing the feeling of utter hopelessness.
When wallowing in his selfish mood, he imagined relieving the physical ache that consumed him. In creating such lurid fantasies, he convinced himself she could heal his affliction — that he would one day walk the earth as a mortal man.
Consequently, the need to understand this power she had over him, coupled with the desire to dissuade her from making a mistake with Mr. Sutherby, was the driving force behind his decision.
At nine o’clock he set out for Mytton Grange. Would Miss Bromwell be waiting for him? Would she have made her excuses to her host? Or during a leisurely picnic had Mr. Sutherby managed to win her affections?
Alexander spent the rest of the walk trying to pretend he didn’t care and felt relieved when he crossed the bridge, as he was done with thinking.