Did she not sound as cold and conniving as Selina?
Honesty is a rare trait. You have it in abundance.
The truth would alter his opinion.
And yet her heart was honest and true. Perhaps he would understand her intentions were good. Perhaps doubt and mistrust would surface, and he would forever wonder if she truly loved him or if she had married him simply to escape her debts, escape marriage to a devilish fiend.
Water welled in her eyes.
Tears rolled down her cheeks, but they failed to wash away her fears.
“Don’t cry,” he said, his voice softening. He moved to settle on the pillow beside her, used the pad of his thumb to wipe away the evidence of her pain. “Our lives have been whipped up by a whirlwind. It will take some time to adjust.”
Oh, why was he so wonderful, so understanding?
Love burst from her heart like the sun’s powerful rays.
“The problems at Falaura Glen relate to money,” she said, knowing she had to find some middle ground between lies and truth.
“I know. I spent a month in the cottage.” Hudson snorted. “When the raindrops hit the metal bucket, it’s like a weird form of torture.”
“The money you’re to pay me for playing your wife is to cover a debt not fix the roof. Mr Thorncroft is rather anxious to see the matter settled.”
“Then if you need more money, you only need ask.” He raised his hand when she was about to protest. “What you’ve done for me, what you’ve had to endure, it’s worth more than
a king’s ransom.”
Endure? Every single moment had been sheer bliss. Perfect beyond belief.
She placed her palm on his chest. “Oh, it’s not been such a hardship.”
Hudson captured her hand and pressed a kiss to her palm. “No, together we make a remarkable team. Still, let me settle your debts.”
A painful lump formed in her throat. “This is something I must do on my own.”
“You don’t want my help?”
Claudia cupped his cheek. “I must solve the problem that I created. It took courage to accept your offer, a little foolishness, too. We’ve been so engrossed in playing fictional roles, a few days apart will give us both an opportunity to consider where we go from here.”
He came up on his elbow, his brows drawn together in confusion. “You doubt the depth of my feelings?”
“No, not at all.” Claudia would have knots in her hair the number of times she shook her head whilst lying on the pillow. “You’ve never lied to me.”
Suspicion flashed in his eyes.
Claudia shuffled closer. “I love you. I am in love with you. I want to be with you in any capacity—friend, lover—” She daren’t be so presumptuous as to say “husband.” “But you must let me deal with the issues at Falaura Glen.”
Besides, she could not make any decisions without speaking to Emily. The problem with Mr Thorncroft affected her sister, too.
“You tell me you love me and yet I feel a great weight crushing my chest.” He dragged his hand down his face and sighed. “Love should be easy. So why is it proving so damn difficult?”
It was because she loved him that she could not be completely honest. If she told the truth about Mr Thorncroft, Hudson would ride to Flamstead and throttle the man. And yet, lies weakened the foundation of any relationship.
“You must trust me,” she said. “Have faith that I will deal with this dilemma and then return to you.”
He flopped back on the pillow. A weary sigh burst from his lips as he stared at the ceiling. “The signed banknotes are in the leather satchel in the armoire. I am in debt to you for seventeen hundred pounds but take what you need.”
His phrasing reminded her that this had started as a business arrangement. Money sealed the deal. Payment reflected a job well done. But nothing about her time with him felt like a transaction.