A curious excitement flowed through her, but it was tempered with sadness. She had one more play to make and then it would be over.
She would lose her kingdom or her men.
“Please don’t be angry with him.” Shim reached out and grasped her hand.
Funny. His hand felt right tangling with hers as though all these years it had been waiting to be entwined with his. She’d only been physically with them for a few days and already she knew she wanted them forever. She was happy just being around them, but happiness wasn’t the only thing important in life.
She respected the fact that they would one day rule a kingdom. They owed their people. Couldn’t they understand that she owed hers, too?
“I’m not angry, Shim. I’m sad.”
His eyes turned down, watching the place where their fingers met. “I can feel it. It’s worse than mad. Please, Bron. Can’t you understand?”
“I can’t. Don’t you love your people? Wouldn’t you do anything to keep them safe? You will rule over them one day.” She remembered her father’s words. “A king is only good to his people if he is useful.”
It was a lesson her uncle hadn’t learned.
“After Lach was burned and I was weak, I think my father decided we would never be fit to rule. Bron, we weren’t brought up to lead. We were hidden away because my father feared we would either be killed or judged as too weak to rule. So we concentrated on the one thing we had.”
“Me.” She understood that much. They loved her. She accepted it. Over the last days, they had treated her with an affection that went far beyond courtesy. They seemed to anticipate her needs. When they had stopped in a village, they would bring her favorite cheese and bread and fruit. When her feet hurt from walking, Lach had dropped down, removed her boots, and rubbed the soles of her aching feet until she was purring.
She’d never felt so loved and taken care of. They held her at night, passing her between them. Lach would hold her with a possessive strength that made her feel safe and Shim with such delicacy that she felt adored.
Why couldn’t they see to her soul? She could answer that question. Because she’d been too afraid to show them.
That ended tonight and she would either have them on her side or she would have a decision to make—one she feared she’d already made.
“Shim, I am sorry for how your father handled your illness and Lach’s injury, but you have to see that I can win this war.”
He used his free hand to touch her face. “I see that you can die. Gods, Bron, a handful of days wasn’t enough.”
She was just going to have to show him. She couldn’t tell him what she was going to do. They would shut down. But she knew them. She knew what they longed for. She would make love with them and when they reached out for the true bond. She would take it, give them her soul.
And she would have her answer.
There was no more point in talking. She went to her tiptoes. Shim was so tall. He made her feel small and delicate though years of hard work had proven to her how sturdy she was. She brushed her lips to his. It was good to feel feminine. They reminded her of all that should have been hers.
She should have been a fragile thing, a sweet princess who waved at her people from the palace walls as her husbands made the decisions. She should have laughed with her maids as her mother had. Her whole world would have been wrapped up in children and love and making things beautiful.
But she knew too much. She couldn’t go back. She wasn’t that dainty girl.
She was a warrior. She had to fight.
And, in this case, the battle would be a sweet one.
“Bron, you’re killing me.” Shim kissed her again, his tongue playing along the seam of her lips. “We need to talk.”
“There’s nothing to talk about.” She ran her hands up his chest, reveling in the feel of his ripped stomach. For all his previous weakness, he was a muscular man. Every inch of him was lean and hard. She let her hands drift to his tight waist and pulled his hips to hers. It wasn’t something she could get away with when making love with Lach. He would turn her over his knee and tan her ass red if she thought about taking over, but Shim liked it when she got aggressive. She could feel how much it made him feel wanted.
She let her tongue forage deep as she rubbed against Shim.
She adored the differences in them. Because they were split, she could really know every aspect of the man. His dominant half and his softer heart. She was welcomed to both sides of his souls. He was right there, a whole man laid out in two parts ready for he
r to love, to adore, to worship. She couldn’t think of anything better.
Yet she had something she had to do. She had a plan in her brain and it was a horrible thing. But it just might work.
She felt Shim’s hands skim her breasts as he came up for air.