Not just a good man.
A great one.
A perfect one.
And for this one glorious point in time, he was all mine.
"One step at a time," I said to myself a few moments later.
"And I'll be right there with you," he agreed, lacing his fingers through mine.
Chapter Sixteen
Romy
Apparently, some of those 'small steps' included finally getting me out of the apartment after six days—and maybe only one actual wardrobe change—had him dragging me out of my depression sleep, bringing me into the bathroom, stripping me, and dropping me in the tub, then telling me we were going to Famiglia in two hours, before walking out before I could object to the plan.
I will admit something uncomfortable.
I'd gotten accustomed to my misery. It became comforting in a way. It created this wall around me that made it possible to turn down Luca's efforts to help me take those steps he talked about.
Like going and having dinner in the kitchen.
Like spending some time on the patio.
Like coming out and talking to Tina instead of hiding from her under the sheets I refused to let her clean.
It was easy to wallow.
Wallowing took no effort. It took no self-control, no fortitude.
You could just do it.
And people would let you because you were hurting, and it was important to give people the space they demanded.
Except, of course, for when those people around you decided they'd had enough, that you were being your own worst enemy.
Luca had probably been more patient than I would have been in his situation.
And for that, as I sat in the tub, I decided I owed it to him to play the part for this one night. To get clean, to put some effort into my appearance, to wear something other than his shirt, to eat something substantial, to try.
That was what it came down to.
Trying.
To do a little bit better.
For him, yes.
But also for myself.
I couldn't live in the bed—and in my head—forever.
I had to try to move on.
Step by baby step.
So I scrubbed and shaved and lotioned and did my makeup. I slipped into a red dress, knowing Luca was partial to that color on me since he kept showing up with new pieces for my wardrobe in varying shades of that color.