But time did pass and now Lenore and I are walking up through the streets to the house, which isn’t that far away. There’s no fog tonight, but it is chilly, the moon is out, a perfect crescent amongst the stars.
Is this going to be the last time I’ll see the world through human eyes?
Will this be the last time I see the world, period?
I’m starting to get nervous again.
As in, what the hell am I doing?
Like, am I seriously considering becoming a fucking vampire?
How did something sound like such a great idea earlier suddenly become the scariest, most dangerous thing I could do?
“Second thoughts?” Lenore asks me in a low voice as we head up alongside Alamo Square, the tower of the house coming into view.
I shake my head, though I know I have plenty of time to change my mind.
We go in through the front door, and the moment I step inside, I feel like my legs go out from under me. I stagger, leaning against the wall, breathing in the scent of everything so familiar, and so fucking painful.
This is my home.
This is where my mother should be.
Odin is resting at the foot of the stairs and gets up, coming over to us with a soft whine and a waggy tail.
“Hey boy, I missed you too,” I tell him, leaning down to give him a few pats.
Down below in Dark Eyes, the bass thumps. I feel my stomach flip, my anxiety going up a notch. Not just for the reason I’m here, but to know that Wolf is downstairs.
“We probably shouldn’t dilly dally too much,” Lenore says.
I straighten up and give her a shaky smile. “Okay. So where should we do this?” I look over her shoulder at the kitchen, once again expecting my mom to be standing there. For that reason it feels sacrilegious or something to have my blood splattered all over it.
I shudder at the thought.
She nods up the stairs. “I was thinking my bathroom. It’s the biggest.”
I frown. “Why does size matter?”
A wary look passes over her hazel eyes. “Since there’s still a chance this might not work and you might become a monster that won’t be easy to contain.”
Oh, right. That. Fuck, there are so many potential things that could go wrong here.
“You know we don’t have to do this,” she says quickly, and I know it would be a huge relief to her if I suddenly backed out.
But I’m stubborn and I’m definitely not mentally sound.
I shake my head and attempt a smile. “I’m ready.”
She doesn’t look too convinced, but we go up the stairs, hurrying in case one of the boys happens to go to the kitchen for something. I’m assuming without my mom they don’t have any appetizers, but who knows, maybe Ezra discovered how to microwave Hot Pockets.
Of course, thinking about my mom again is another dagger to the chest, and I can’t even push it away. I let a few tears fall, my chest feeling tight while I follow Lenore up the stairs, and by the time we get to the top floor where she lives with Solon, the punch of grief has subsided.
I breathe in deep, making friends with the pain.
She opens the door and we go across their bedroom, a total vampire’s den. Black and burgundy satin everything, ebony wallpaper, gold skulls for décor, dripping candles, you name it.
The bathroom is just as dark and grandiose, with slick tiles and mood lighting. In the middle of the room is a claw-foot tub. Lenore goes over to it and reaches up to the pipe hanging from the ceiling, turning it on. Water splashes out dramatically.
“So…” I say, looking around. “Am I supposed to get in the tub?”
She removes her sweater and then goes to the wall where she picks up a clear jar of what looks like homemade bath salts and dumps it all in the water.
“Think it would be easier that way,” she says. “It’ll let you succumb to me. You’ll be relaxed.” She pauses. “It’ll be less messy.”
I gulp audibly. Oh my god. What the hell am I signing up for?
“Is there a less painful way to become a vampire?” I ask, half-joking and starting to feel stabs of panic in my chest.
She shakes her head. “If there was, everyone would do it.” And she’s half-joking too. Then she gestures to me. “You don’t have to get naked, by the way.”
“Oh, well good. We haven’t even gotten to first base yet.”
Her lips twist into a smirk and she looks away as I start to take off my clothes, throwing them to the floor until I’m just in my bra and underwear. This time I’m not wearing a thong, thank god. I don’t need Lenore to see my ass.
“I am going to have to bite you though,” she says as she looks me over and that’s when I see the flare of red in her pupils. “So that’s kind of first base.”