“To the world?” she whispers, meeting my eyes.
“To me,” I tell her. “You’re everything to me. Fuck the world. They don’t matter. I do.”
She stares at me in awe for a moment, her full pink lips parting, inviting me in. I’m in awe too. I’m not normally so forward with her, not in an emotional way, but perhaps things are changing faster than I can even comprehend.
“You never kissed me, you know,” she whispers to me, pressing her cheek on my palm. I can feel her heartbeat under her skin and it makes my dick press against the fly of my jeans. “Finger fucked me, ate me out, but you never kissed me.”
“I don’t know how you managed to say all those words and still look so forlorn and innocent,” I say. “That’s impressive.”
Her gaze hardens for a moment, like she’s burying something. “What can I do to make you want me?”
Christ almighty. She can’t be serious. “What the hell makes you think I don’t want you? You said you remembered last night.”
“Last night was about me wanting you,” she points out, pressing her lips against my palm, heat rising up my veins. “Where in that was you wanting me?”
“Probably in the fact that I made you come on my hand, and in my mouth?”
“You never came,” she says, pulling my hand off her cheek and taking a wide stance in front of me. “That hardly seems fair.”
“I came many times last night, after you were asleep.” She frowns at that. “I was in my own room, don’t worry,” I quickly add.
“I wasn’t worried,” she says, her voice taking on a faux innocent tone as she turns and starts walking again. “You could have come all over me while I was sleeping, had you wanted to.”
Jesus. She’s full of fire today, isn’t she? Amethyst has always been bold but, even so, to hear her say this…
“I’m not an animal,” I manage to say under my breath. She laughs. Okay, so maybe I’m more animal than man. “I mean, I’m not an asshole.”
“You’re a little bit of an asshole,” she says, pinching her fingers together. “Just enough for me.”
“What else am I to you?”
She stops and I nearly run into her, the heady combination of her shampoo, sweat, and hot tub chlorine filling my nose, my dick pulsing in protest.
She turns and stares at me, this languid glaze in her eyes that make them sparkle in the light like quartz.
Then she bites her lip, sucking on it, and fuck if I don’t want to suck on it too. She reaches down and presses her palm against my dick, cupping my hard-on.
“What are you to me?” she says in a husky voice, staring up at me through her lashes. “You’re annoyingly elusive.” She gives my dick a hard squeeze, my heart leaping in my chest. “Now, are you going to fuck me or what?”
I suck in my breath. “Think it’s pretty obvious that I want to,” I say, groaning lightly as I press into her palm.
“But?”
“I’m not sure you’ll be able to handle it.”
Her eyes flash in challenge. It’s the truth, but not in the way that she thinks. If I fuck her, I’m fucking her to claim her. I’m already possessive enough as it is and we’re not even together. Once I come inside her, all bets are off. She’ll be mine through and through, and I still don’t know if that’s what she wants. We haven’t talked about the future, and what she just told me is that she doesn’t even know if she’ll be around in ten years.
“Can you do casual with me?” I ask, not knowing if I can either.
“Why not?” she says with a shrug, sliding her hand up to my fly. “We could at least try.”
I stifle a groan. “And if it doesn’t work?”
“Then things change,” she says quietly. “Wolf, I don’t want to lose you. I’ll put that out there now. You’re my friend, sometimes I feel like you’re my best friend.” Best friend that’s currently undoing my jeans. “I don’t know what I would do without you. So, if this…if what we’re doing means I’ll end up losing you for good, I don’t want that. I can’t have that. I want you, like this, but I need you in my life, any way I can, more.”
“This can’t…you have to understand why it can’t become anything more.”
She gives a tiny shake of her head, her eyes glimmering like her namesake. “No. I don’t understand.”
“Once I fuck you, you’ll be mine.”
“I’m okay with that.”
“Are you? Because I’m not sure that I am.”
She pauses, fingers on my zipper. “What do you mean?”
I close my eyes and breathe in deep, trying to get my bearings. It would be much more helpful if we weren’t having this conversation while she’s trying to get my dick out. It would be even more helpful if my dick wasn’t already begging for it.