Oh, sweet little baby. What hell did your father live through? And what torment does he still go through daily, blaming himself for things he had no control over?
I go to the window and look out, trying to see if I can get a glimpse of Xavier between the flashes of lightning that are coming at regular intervals. Thunder cracks almost as quickly.
God, the storm must be right on top of us.
But it’s not so loud that when the gunshot rings out, both Pritchard and I don’t know it for exactly what it is.
Twenty
“Oh my God!” I shout and throw open the door.
Pritchard is on my heels but I don’t wait for him as I sprint into the darkness. Mud sucks at my boots with every step I take but I press on.
What the hell was that? Who would have a gun out here?
Xavier. Xavier has a gun.
Did a wolf or bear get close to one of the horses? But I would have thought in a storm they’d hole up, not come near a house. Unless they got their directions all screwed up and—
As I get closer to the stable, I hear the most bone-chilling noise.
It’s a scream, but not human.
It’s a horse.
I run even faster. I throw open the barn door. The lights are on and all the horses are stomping madly, but Xavier’s not there. The opposite door is open, though, and slanting sheets of rain pour into the stable.
I sprint through the barn, the light making me squint after the darkness, wiping water off my forehead. Only to hit the wall of water once I burst out the other side.
The horrible horse scream greets me again once I exit the stable, and that’s when I see a sight that will forever haunt me.
Not fifteen feet in front of me is Xavier facing off with Samson, holding a pistol straight out in front of him while Samson rears up on his hind legs.
“No!” I scream and run forward.
I’m not sure if I mean for Xavier not to shoot the horse or for Samson not to land and trample Xavier.
Either way, Xavier looks over at me and his entire demeanor changes. He lowers the pistol and races toward me.
“What the hell are you doing?” He shouts, shoving me behind him as he faces Samson. I can barely hear him above the rain. “Get back in the house.”
“What’s going on?” I shout back. “Why do you have a gun?”
Samson rears up once more and then settles, stamping and shuffling backward. It’s only then that I see Sugar moving along the side of the pasture fence not far away and—is she limping?
What the hell happened out here? Did Samson hurt her?
Xavier keeps his body between me and Samson, all the while facing the horse. With one arm on me, he shuffles us backward toward the barn, with the other, he lifts the gun at Samson again, jaw like iron.
When Samson takes a step toward us, he cocks the gun.
“Stop it!” I shout, grabbing his arm holding the gun. He immediately lowers it and turns on me, lifting me over his shoulder and walking briskly for the barn.
As soon as he gets me inside, he puts me down on my feet.
“Don’t you ever put our baby in harm’s way like that again!” he shouts at me. “What the fuck were you thinking? Are you a fucking idiot? How many times have I told you not to approach a horse when they are upset or you aren’t in control of the situation? That horse could have killed you both!”
I stand tall and strong in front of him even though he towers over me and is screaming at the top of his considerable lungs. “Put the gun down,” I say calmly.
It’s only then that he realizes he’s been waving a loaded gun at me while he rants. He freezes and I can see the absolute horror as it hits him.
It’s like he just shuts down.
An inhuman calmness takes over.
He lowers the weapon and uncocks it, then clicks the safety on and puts it in the back of his pants. We’re both soaking and breathing hard but suddenly his breaths even out like he flipped some kind of switch.
“I should have gelded Samson as soon as I got him on the property. Keeping him as a stallion for even a few months was a foolhardy and sentimental decision.” He speaks in such a monotone that he sounds like a robot. “He broke out of his paddock and mated with Sugar, injuring her in the process. I should have foreseen something like this happening. I failed her just like I failed so many before.”
“Xavier,” I start but he cuts me off.
“It’s not safe for you to stay here.”
“What?” I exclaim. “That’s ridiculous, we’ll get Samson gelded and—”