“Christ, Sarah.” He wets a wash cloth under warm water from the sink and gently scrubs at my face. And then he pulls me into his chest and wraps his arms around me.
For a second I’m sure this is the start of the next round and I tense up. I wait for his hands to drop to my bottom. Or for him to grip my hair and jerk my head back.
But he just…holds me.
Hugging me.
He’s hugging me.
When he tries to pull back, I cling tighter.
“Sarah honey, I’m not letting you go.” He whispers into my hair. “But we need to get you in the bath. You’re freezing. And I can just imagine how sore you must be.” He winces and his face crumbles. “I want to make it better. Please let me make it better.”
His words. They open the dam I didn’t even know I was holding back inside me. A sob bubbles up and I press my head even harder against his warm chest as he leads me to his ensuite bathroom.
He puts a hand on the back of my head and holds me to him while we walk. “Shhhh, shhhh,” he whispers. “It’s all going to be okay. It’ll be okay. I promise. I’ll make it okay. I swear.”
When he tries to pull away from me to turn on the bath faucet, I don’t let him. The first burst of tears has slowed, but I can’t, I just can’t release him yet.
He finally maneuvers us so that he can get to the faucet with me attached to him like a starfish suckered to the front of his body.
The splash of the water against the porcelain tub as it fills up is the only sound for a little while. I like the soothing noise it makes. And when I snuggle a little further to the right, the steady thump of Dominick’s heart calms me down even more. I’m so cold and he’s so warm. I want him to keep me warm forever.
The water finally stops.
“It’s ready,” Dominick says. “You’ve gotta let go so I can help you in.”
I shake my head against his chest. “I’ll be fine. I don’t need a bath.” I hold him even tighter.
After a second, he sighs, then says, “Okay, let go of your death grip and we’ll go in together. Deal?”
I look up at him and smile.
His eyebrows are still slanted in concern, but at my smile, his face softens.
His eyes search mine.
“I love you,” he whispers.
And my heart explodes.
That’s a thing, it really is. And it’s what happens to my heart. Just like earlier, when my orgasm reached throughout my entire body—his words do that now.
Because I feel the same way.
Today has been full of confusion and madness and pleasure and pain but finally here is something I know to be true—I love Dominick Winters.
His eyes widen and he claps his hand over my mouth. “Don’t say it back. I mean— You don’t have to say it back. I mean Christ,” he shakes his head, his neck reddening. “I don’t expect you to feel the same yet. Or ever,” he rushes on. “I would never try to pressure you. And after today…” His eyes shoot back in the direction of my room and his face clouds over.
Meanwhile, I reach up and pull at his hand on my mouth. He finally seems to notice me yanking at him.
“Sorry,” he says and drops his hand.
I can’t contain it another second. “I—
“Don’t—” He cuts me off, this time just with a finger over my lips. “Please, promise you won’t say anything about what I just said. Swear you won’t. I can’t bear it, okay?”
“But—”
He shakes his head vehemently. “Swear.”
I look up at him unhappily but finally nod my head. Why won’t he let me share my feelings with him? Is he afraid I’ll say I don’t love him or that I’ll say I do? Is he regretting what he said already? Did he not mean it, is that it? And if he does love me, why wouldn’t he want to hear it back?
“Come on,” he smiles at me again and kisses the tip of my nose. “Let’s get in before the water gets cold.” And with that, he lifts a foot into the bath.
I follow him. He settles me in front of him in the bath. The hot water feels good but stings slightly against my sore sex.
The soothing warmth and Dominick behind me soon make all the worries of the day slip away, though.
“You know I’ll always take care of you, don’t you, beautiful?” he whispers into my hair, wrapping his arms around me and pulling me close.
I nod drowsily and settle my back against his chest.
He chuckles into my hair. “Rest. You deserve it.”
The world dissolves into the warmth and the comfort I feel in his arms. I’m not sure if his next words are real or I just imagine them. “I love you. I’ll never let you be hurt again. I swear, Sarah. I swear on my life.”