Yeah, considering the whole prom disaster, my whole one boyfriend experiment was short-lived.
But I’ve imagined this moment a million times. Well, not this moment obviously, with my own stepbrother. But a moment like this one. Being in bed with a man, his warmth beside me. Not even doing anything, just being. Snuggling maybe.
But none of my fantasies do justice to the real thing.
I’m always so cold. Maybe I have bad circulation or something, but I’m always freezing. And Dominick is like a heat machine. I’ve noticed this about both him and Dad. They run hot. It can be forty degrees out and they’ll wear a t-shirt and shorts. Meanwhile I’ve got long underwear and my giant winter coat on.
“How did your feet get cold again in the ten minutes since I last had hold of them?” Dominick laughs after his shins come into contact with my feet.
“Oh God. Sorry.” I yank them away from him. Mortification number three hundred and forty-seven for the evening? Check.
“Don’t be ridiculous. It’s just one of your quirks.” Dominick wraps his arm around my waist and pulls me into him.
My eyes sink closed at how good it feels.
So. Much. Better. Than. I. Dreamed.
He fits his knees behind mine and then settles his whole body flush against me.
I’m dreaming.
This is a dream.
I was so tired, and keyed up from the movie. This is obviously an extremely vivid dream.
Because there is no way that Dominick is spooning me in real life.
Is there?
He nestles his chin against the back of my head, moving my hair aside with one hand. “I won’t let you be cold, beautiful.”
The words are a warm breath against my neck and his arm rests around my waist, curled right below my breasts.
I can’t help the next few stuttered gasps that escape my lungs, but then I do everything in my power to concentrate on breathing normally.
Slow breath in, hold for a couple seconds, then slow breath out. There. That’s how normal people breathe. Right?
Right??
But Dominick apparently doesn’t notice anything off because within two minutes, his breathing regulates and he starts to snore gently. It’s simultaneously the most manly and comforting sound I’ve ever heard. I can feel it rumbling up through his chest at his back. I’ve never felt anything like it.
Slowly, ever so slowly, I rest my arm over Dominick’s where it curves around my stomach. He stirs only the slightest bit and clutches me tighter against him.
My breath hitches again but I don’t move my hand from where it lays over his. He settles and his quiet snores start up again.
I lay there for one of the best and simultaneously worst nights of sleep of my entire life. Best because I’ve never felt more secure or beautiful and just… freaking amazing in my whole life. And worst because I hate that I keep falling asleep. I don’t want to miss a moment of it.
I leave my hand over Dominick’s as he holds me all night long and know that if it’s in my power, I’m never going to let him or Dad go.
Three
Dominick’s sleepovers become a semi-regular thing over the next few weeks. Granted he’s still working crazy hours for his residency, so it’s maybe two to three nights a week, but God, how I treasure those nights.
If Dad notices our growing closeness, he doesn’t say anything, though I do notice his gaze moving between the two of us sometimes at dinner. He doesn’t looked concerned, though, just interested as always in what we’re doing. I chalk it up to my imagination and paranoia.
It’s not like Dominick and I are doing anything wrong anyway.
I mean sure, we’re sleeping together. But not like that!
Dominick will just come in after Dad’s gone to bed, maybe after we’ve all watched TV or he and I study at the kitchen table while Dad works on his laptop. Then Dom and I will talk for a little bit with him sitting against the headboard. I tell him about stuff going on in my life, he tells me about things stressing him out at the hospital, and then he gets into bed beside me and curls me up against him.
I’ve even actually started being able to fall asleep now since, the more it happens, the more confident I feel that each time won’t be the last.
Dominick’s not home tonight. Dad’s on a business trip. Mom’s out as well—shocker. It feels like she’s gone for days at a time. There will be entire weeks I can go without seeing her. I wonder if Dad doesn’t encourage this. The last time I saw the two of them in the same room together he just simply gave her this look. Like a ‘don’t test me’ look. I’m not sure what was being communicated, but Mom just lifted her chin and went off in a huff. We didn’t see her for four days that time.