I have to clear my throat four times before I open my car door to make the tears stop, but at least my face isn’t wet when I knock on Mrs. Greene’s door.
“Momma?” Harley asks the second he opens the door. “What’s wrong?”
I smile down at him. “Would you believe me if I said nothing?”
I clear my throat again, hating that I’m going to lie to him but telling him the truth isn’t going to work either.
He shakes his head.
“It’s really not a big deal, but they got a new cleaner at the office.”
He sighs, a long deep exhale of air. “Let me guess, it has a lemon scent, and you forgot to wear one of those masks.”
I shoot a finger gun at him and smile, hating that I’ve used this excuse so many times over the years with him. Being a single mother is hard, and sometimes the bad days outweigh the good.
He shakes his head. “One of these days, you’re going to learn.”
“One of these days,” I echo.
I give Mrs. Greene a wave, nodding when she mouths, asking if I’m okay, and we head across the yard to our house.
“Do you need a nap?”
I shake my head. Despite the emotional rollercoaster I’ve already been on today, I slept very well in Micah’s arms last night. I need to stay busy today to keep from calling him and telling him everything I said was a big mistake.
“Let me get a quick shower, and we can go grab breakfast, maybe go to the park or something.”
I wash as quickly as I can, refusing to look at myself in the mirror. I can still feel him on my skin, and I don’t doubt with the way he spent extra attention with his mouth on me that that was his intention all along. I dress in something warm, thinking I can use up some extra energy walking laps around the playground equipment while Harley plays, before heading back out to the living room.
I stop right at the end of the hallway, finding Robbie in the living room. I’ve always told Harley not to open the door, but I never told him not to let his own father in the house.
“No work today?” I ask casually.
“Job’s done.”
I frown. “Already? I thought you said it would last a month. It’s barely been three weeks.”
He shrugs. “Got it done quicker. Gotta look for something else now.”
“We’re getting ready to go for breakfast and then the park. Wanna come?”
Robbie’s eyes roll up to me, but I turn before they can meet mine. I won’t make the decision for him, but I hadn’t planned on there being three of us today.
“Sounds like a fun time. We can kick the new soccer ball I got you for Christmas around the park,” Robbie offers.
I’ve discovered that Robbie is a fan of doing things with Harley that don’t require speaking. Harley asks a lot of questions, and Robbie doesn’t always know how to answer them. Apparently, even keeping your nose clean in prison still comes with a lot of dishonest and sneaky behavior. He recognizes it as such and doesn’t want Harley knowing those things so he’s out of the loop on how to give sound fatherly advice.
“Is it in your room? Go get it,” Robbie urges.
I head to the kitchen for a glass of water and something for the headache that started forming the second the tears began falling before I left Micah.
“Hey,” Robbie says, following me into the kitchen. “Did you work last night?”
I turn to face him. Noticing his eyes on my neck, I know what he sees. I got a flash of the mark there on my way out of the bathroom.
“I want to meet him.”
“It’s over between us,” I assure him.
“I don’t have to go with you guys today.”
“It’s fine.”
“My treat,” he offers. “I insist.”
I nod. I won’t argue about the man paying for breakfast, and I don’t see it as a favor. I’ve taken care of Harley his entire life without a penny from him. We’re due a little something from the man. I refuse to feel guilty about that.
Harley joins us in the kitchen.
“I think I want pancakes.”
“And bacon,” Robbie adds. “Maybe sausage.”
They talk about food all the way to the diner. I’ve found it’s an easy subject for them, one that doesn’t trip either of them up. I’m able to hide the tremble in my hands as I climb out of the car, but my eyes dart toward the two bikes parked on the far end of the lot.
“Maybe Micah is here!” Harley says excitedly. “You can meet him, Daddy. We haven’t seen him in a long time.”
Our son rushes for the front door of the diner, his eyes darting all around when Robbie holds the door open for the two of us.