“Jealous…that’s absurd.”
“No, now that I think about it. That’s why you don’t like Zoë…that’s why you were upset with Sean and Jordan all those years.” She let go of his arm and stood up. “Chris, I’m sorry, you didn’t slip up. I’m sorry you had the perfect life. I’m sorry, you had someone there to encourage you to keep yourself for your wife. Would it make you feel better if you went out and broke our marriage vows? Heck, take some money from the emergency fund and get yourself a box of condoms and a call girl, and let her do all the things that you feel you missed out on.”
“Stop it.”
“Apparently you feel that you’ve missed out on something. Chris, I hate you weren’t my one and only, but I’m not going to beat myself up over it. God forgave me, and although I didn’t have to, I told you and I apologized.” Tyler started crying. “When you asked me to marry you, I thought all of that was behind us. I guess the joke’s been on me all these years, because you never forgave me, even though you said you did.” She walked down the hall to check on Tyler.
Chris stood staring at the wall a few minutes, and then went down to Tyler’s room. He walked over and stood next to Trina. “How could you suggest I break our vows?”
“It’s not any different from what you’ve been doing.”
“What’s that supposed to mean?”
“You’ve been lying to me all these years. You said you understood what happened with Jamal and that it was in the past.”
“I know, and I’m sorry I left you alone to make that mistake.”
“A mistake would indicate I regret what happened, and I don’t. I wanted to have sex with Jamal, and I did.” She continued changing Tyler’s diaper. “I asked God to forgive me for breaking my vow to Him and He did. But the man I pledged to spend the rest of my life with, who said he was a man after God’s heart, who said he would love me like God, didn’t forgive me, even though he lied and said he did.”
He looked at the wall, not saying a word.
“I don’t understand you Chris. The past few years you’ve become so pious and judgmental, that there are days I don’t even want to be around you.”
“But to suggest I go out and sleep…have sex with someone else, hurts.”
“How do you think I feel? All this time, I thought it was just you and me in that bed, but it’s been you, me, and Jamal. And I’ll tell you something else, the reason Sean doesn’t tell you anything, is because he’s tired of you bringing up his past.”
“That’s what Zoë said.”
“Really.” She lifted Tyler out of bed, placed him on her hip, dropped the dirty diaper in the pail and went back into the kitchen. She put Tyler in his high chair and kissed him. Chris followed and stood in the doorway. Not looking at him, she said, “You know what, I think you need a little time by yourself. Tyler and I are going to my parents for a while.”
“What?”
“Right now, I don’t wanna be around you. I don’t like who you’ve become. I want the loving, kind, open minded man I fell in love with. The man who only saw the good in people, who wasn’t so eager to point out people’s flaws. Call me when he comes back.”
She walked out of the kitchen and into the bedroom. The sound of the door slamming shut, broke his heart.
Chapter 67
TRINA WAS HESITANT TO MAKE the call, but for her own peace of mind, she knew it was the right thing to do. She looked down at Tyler sleeping next to her and pressed the button for the programmed name and number. After the third ring, he picked up.
“Hello,” the familiar deep voice sounded calm.
“Hey Sean.”
“Trina, how are you? We missed seeing you guys at church Sunday. Is everything all right?” he asked.
“Uhm, not really. Would you do me a favor?”
“What do you need?”
“Would you check on Chris.”
“Sure, is everything okay?” He sensed something strange in the tone of her voice.
She hesitated before answering. “I left him.”
“What! Hold on, let me close the door. What did you say?” He stood in the middle of his office processing Trina’s confession.