Confused, Kyla leaned forward to hear Pastor Mike’s answer.
“Clarice, I commend you for standing up and sharing that. I know you’re not the only one here struggling with that. God can only do what you allow Him to do. Deciding to come here today was a huge step in taking your life back. Standing up and announcing you’re tired of the mess you’ve made of your life was another huge step. When you came to God, your spirit man changed, not your physical man. I’m not going to lie, I like sex too.” Everyone laughed. “Settle down. I was just like you ladies…I tapped everything with a skirt before I gave my life to God.” Everyone laughed again. “When I gave my life to God, I said, “Okay God, it’s on you. I want to do what’s right, but I need help, because You know there are some fine Christian women out there and I would love to show them what it means to take a walk on the wild side.” The laughter continued. “Like some of you, I slipped up and when it was over, I immediately felt sick. My spirit was aching. For a brief moment my body felt good, but my spirit felt dirty. I met with my pastor and told him everything that happened. I thought he was going to be all nice and sympathetic. No, he chewed me out and said, ‘God can only do what you allow Him to do. You can’t say the devil made me do it. The devil wasn’t in bed with that woman, you were. You need to realize who you are. When you gave yourself to God, your body was no longer yours. It belongs to God, and that’s why you were feeling dirty. You had allowed sin to step in and taint the holy vessel.’ I never thought of my body as a holy vessel. And that revelation made me even sicker. It was like I just had sex in church.”
A resounding oh filled the room.
“He told me to repent and ask God’s forgiveness and say goodbye to that old sinful nature and start over. He said that was the past and that man was dead. He cautioned me to be on alert because the devil likes to bring up the past to knock you off your game. He said for me, sex was a drug and I was addicted, but only with God’s help could I kick sin’s butt. He handed me a Bible and told me to read Romans 6 and when I finished, he asked, ‘Who are you?’ I said, ‘God’s property and I’ve been set free.’ Then he asked if I wanted to change and I said yes. From that moment on, I realized I was like Christ and although Jesus was tempted, He never gave in. He stood his ground, knowing who He was and that there was something better for Him. That’s what I’m trying to get you beautiful ladies to see. You are much better than what the devil has tricked you into believing. You don’t have to be slaves to sex. And yes you can change, but only if you want to.”
The sound of Amens and hands clapping didn’t drown out the thoughts racing in Kyla’s head. She saw herself in Clarice and in Pastor Mike. She took a deep breath trying to fight the tears her spirit was bringing to her eyes.
“Ladies, my wife and I have a gift for you.” His wife walked up and stood next to him. “Honey…” he stepped to the side and let her take over.
“Ladies, thank you for receiving my husband today. I know what you’re going through. But you are over-comers in Christ Jesus. My husband and I have a little gift to help you on this journey to discovering who you are.” The ushers walked through the aisles handing out white gift bags. A few minutes later she continued. “Okay, does everyone have a package?”
“Yes.” The replies filled the room.
“Okay, on the count of three open. One, two, three.” Cheers and cries and silence. The combination was amazing. Kyla was stunned. The one time she happened to be in church was the day they were handing out gifts. “My husband said when he was having his challenge, his pastor told him to read Romans 6. What he didn’t tell you was he read it in this Bible, The Message. This version talks to you in your language. Here’s your homework, read Romans 6 in your new Bible and if you want, email me and let me know how it affected your life. Stand up, take the hand of the sister next to you and repeat after me, “I am a new creature in Christ Jesus, old things are passed away. I am God’s beautiful child and I deserve everything He has for me.” Kyla repeated the confession not fully aware of the truth she had just spoken over her life. “Have a blessed week, see you next week.”
Kyla snuck out the back and shoved the Bible into her bag and quickly walked up to Pastor Mike’s office.
Chapter 44
IT HAD BEEN ALMOST A week since Kyla received the Bible and she still hadn’t read the passage DeeDee Matthews had suggested. Every day she came home and looked at the Bible sitting on the n
ightstand, staring at it with mixed feelings. Every morning when she woke up, seven words sang in her mind, “You deserve everything I have for you.” Every morning she fought the voice.
This morning was different. She woke up, picked up the Bible, opened it to Romans 6 and began reading and continued on through to chapter eight. As she read the passages her eyes filled with tears. She remembered the lessons from Sunday school she had blocked out.
Then another voice sounded in her head. “How much longer?” She got up and went into the shower, hoping the sound of the running water would drown out the voice in her head. She closed her eyes and stood under the running water, but the voice just got louder. “How much longer?” She turned the water off, grabbed a towel, went back into the bedroom, picked up her phone and began dialing.
“Good morning Trina.”
“Hi Kyla.” Trina always sounded upbeat and cheery.
“I’m taking you up on your offer for coffee…well lunch.”
“When?”
“How about today?”
“Sure, I’ll meet…”
“No, I’ll come to you. My schedule is a little more flexible.”
“Okay. How’s twelve-thirty?”
“I’ll see you then.”
“Okay.”
Kyla hung up and finished getting dressed. She packed up Winnie and put the Bible into her bag and left.
Three times she started to call Trina and cancel, but Kyla knew if she wanted the voice to stop, she needed help. She looked at her watch. It was eleven fifteen. Bible class had been going on for just a little while. She walked in, slid into the back row, crossed her legs and pulled out her newly covered Bible. She picked up an old fabric swatch and made a cover before leaving the office. Pastor Mike’s wife, DeeDee, was just starting her lesson. Kyla looked around the room at the assortment of women. Like last week, the diversity of women didn’t make sense.
“Ladies, I want to say how moved I was by all the emails I received. I am so delighted you did the homework. I know there are a few of you who don’t have access to email and yes, I did receive your notes on Sunday. Once you’ve decided to yield your life to God, the devil will always try to stop your progress. I want to encourage you to not give up, but stay on this path to changing your life. You won’t regret it.”
She stood silent for a moment before resting her gaze on Kyla. DeeDee squinted her eyes, leaning forward trying to get a better look. She blinked her eyes, clearing the fog and focused on the beautiful woman sitting at the end of the last row trying not to be noticed. Kyla shifted in her seat and met her gaze along with a smile.
“This isn’t what I had planned for today. Okay, let’s turn to Jeremiah twenty-nine eleven. How many have your new Bible? Hold them up and let me see.” DeeDee looked at Kyla and saw the covered book in her hand and smiled.