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“Don’t make excuses for him. He’s a selfish asshole most of the time,” I say, sounding bitter. “But he’s not my selfish asshole anymore, so I don’t have to worry about him, you know?”

“Was he really that selfish, though? He sure did love you,” Mom says.

“In a toxic way,” I add.

“Oh, Ava. Really?” The pointed look she sends me has me recoiling a bit. “I’m serious. I know you’re upset and he’s hurt you terribly, and I’m not saying your feelings are invalid. But there were a lot of good times between you two as well. Don’t they outnumber the bad?”

They do. They so do.

“I’m going to stay here,” I tell her before I change my mind. “I appreciate the invite, but I don’t mind staying alone. And I think I will go to that Halloween party.”

Mom smiles. “Good. You should. You’ll have a great time. You’ll be with your friends. You can wear a fun costume. It’ll be nice.”

She sounds like such a mom right now. I’m about to go to her and give her a hug, when the door from the garage opens and Beck comes stomping in.

“I’m starving,” he announces.

“Well hello to you too,” Mom says, patting him on the back as he walks past her and heads straight to the fridge. “Don’t snack on anything. Dinner will be ready in twenty minutes.”

“Twenty minutes?” He peers inside the fridge, pulling out a plastic container of God knows what. “I’m snacking.”

Mom rolls her eyes at me, then turns her attention to the door when it swings open and in walks my dad.

His eyes find her and he smiles. She goes right to him and he embraces her, one hand on her butt as he drops a long kiss to her lips. I turn away, embarrassed I caught my dad copping a feel, but then again…

It’s sweet, how much they love each other. I want that so badly for myself. It’s the kind of relationship I’ve been chasing after, before I even became aware I was chasing it. Their undying love for each other is total life goals.

My phone rings and I check it to see it’s Ellie FaceTiming me. I go to the family room and take her call, making a frowny face in the camera so that’s what she sees when the call connects. She laughs.

“Uh, didn’t you just leave my house?”

“Word on the street is that Eli is definitely going to the party,” she announces.

“Really?” My tone is hopeful, and I clear my throat.

She nods. She’s still driving, the phone propped up on her dashboard, which probably isn’t safe. “I just talked to Jackson, and I asked him if Eli was coming.”

“Didn’t you already figure the answer was yes?”

“I needed confirmation. And I don’t want that to deter you from coming,” she says.

“It won’t,” I say firmly. “I’m going.”

I’ll do what my mom said. If we run into each other, I’ll be polite and say hello, then ignore him the rest of the night.

Easy peasy.

“Yay,” Ellie cheers. “Let’s go shopping for costumes. One of those Halloween superstores. What do you think?”

“Definitely. Let’s go tomorrow. Unless you have plans.”

“I’m as free as a bird,” she sing-songs.

I laugh. “So am I.”

So am I.

Nineteen


Tags: Monica Murphy College Years Romance