“Don’t lie, babe.” I smile at her and she scowls in return. “She’s one of the most supportive people I know,” I tell Carson, leaning into him as if I’m sharing a secret.
“Not anymore,” she throws at me.
“Don’t ever piss her off,” I say to Carson. He frowns, his dark brows pulling together. “She holds a mighty big grudge.”
“Oh my God, Jackson. Go away. Now,” she spits out at me, at the same time that Eli calls my name yet again.
“That’s my cue to go.” I offer both of them a smile. “Nice meeting you,” I say to Carson.
“You too.”
I saunter away, and I can literally feel Ellie watching me go. Her gaze is hot. Angry, for sure. But probably something else too. It’s always been there between us, growing and growing, while I maintain my normal ‘in denial’ status.
Awareness. We are always so damn aware of each other. In tune with each other. It’s annoying sometimes. I can’t shake her, even when I want to.
Now is not one of those times.
I head toward Diego and Eli, who immediately pull me into a conversation about tomorrow night’s game. They’re all worked up while I’m as casual as can be. Being on the football team right now is like a freaking vacation compared to touring this past summer. When everything was on my shoulders. They all looked to me for decisions, for directions. If I fucked up, I was solely responsible, and let me tell you, that shit is intimidating.
With football, we’re in it together. And I’m still mostly on the bench. This team shit is a no-brainer. I’ll be cruising through the season with no pressure on me, I’m sure of it.
Eli goes in search of Tony, leaving me alone with Diego. I used to hate this guy. Mostly everyone did. But he’s mellowed out, especially this last year. Plus, he’s really fucking happy living with his girlfriend and their baby.
“Who’s the guy with Ellie?” Diego asks me.
“Oh, that kid?” I glance over my shoulder to see they’re still talking. Shit. At least she’s not touching him any longer. “They have a couple of classes with each other. His name is Carson.”
Diego watches them for a moment before his gaze shifts to me. “I always figured you two would end up together.”
“Nah.” I shake my head. “She’s not my type.”
He laughs. “I thought anyone in our age group with a vagina was your type.”
“Why you gotta use technical terms?” I grimace, and Diego laughs harder. “Ellie is cool. She’s a good girl. Nice. Sweet. If we were to do anything though, I’d break her heart. And I can’t do that. I don’t want that responsibility.”
Meaning, I’m not prepared for that responsibility.
“I get it,” Diego says with a nod. “That guy can’t stop staring at her.”
If Diego is trying to make me jealous, he’s succeeding. “I mean, look at her,” I say, my voice nonchalant. “She’s got a lot on display tonight.”
“She looks good,” Diego says casually, taking a swig of the beer he’s holding. “Older.”
Unable to help myself, I glance over my shoulder, once again, just in time to catch her throw her head back and laugh. My heart trips over itself as I watch her, and I wonder what that asshole said. I wonder if I could ever make her laugh like that. Or maybe I just ruined everything and we won’t even be friends again.
I turn my attention back to Diego, annoyed with my thoughts. With myself. “There are a lot of girls here tonight,” I say, desperate to change the subject.
“Any of them interest you?” Diego asks.
I scan the room, yet not a single female face leaps out at me. I can only think of Ellie. Laughing with the guy like she used to laugh with me. I curl my hands into fists. “All of them.”
Diego laughs. Slaps my shoulder. “I can only imagine the stories you have from your tour.”
“I have some good ones,” I agree. “Got about two hours so I can go into vivid detail?”
“Since I won’t ever be living the rock star life, guess I’ll have to live through you instead,” Diego says, shaking his head.
I wouldn’t want to have his life, though he seems perfectly content. He’s not even twenty and he’s already a daddy. That’s some crazy shit. I don’t know if I even want to be a father, have a wife, the traditional life.