“Everyone loves their tacos,” Eli says after we finally snag a table.
I take a sip from my soda, wishing there was a splash of whiskey in it. “They have damn good food.”
“The girls are hosting a party at my place tomorrow,” Tony says conversationally. “You guys are invited, of course.”
“What girls are you talking about?” I ask.
“Hayden, Gracie, Joselyn, Ellie,” Tony says. “The usual gang.”
“I hate that Ava’s not here,” Eli says. He looks down in the dumps.
“Bro, you planning on visiting her during our bye week?” Caleb asks.
“She wants me to,” Eli says. “Though I told her she should come here. See her family and her friends.”
“You should go there. And I’ll come with. Check out the babes.” Caleb grins.
“Do not take his ass,” Tony says, jerking his thumb in Caleb’s direction. “You want private time with your girl. Not to have to entertain this guy the entire weekend.”
“I can find my own entertainment,” Caleb says, irritated. “I don’t need a babysitter.”
“I’ll be your babysitter,” I tell him with a sly smile.
Caleb lifts up his hand for a high five and I give it to him. “Sounds like a plan,” he says.
“You two will be up to no good,” Eli mutters, shaking his head.
“That’s the idea,” I say, already looking forward to the change of scenery. “When’s our bye week again?”
They laugh at me, and I laugh along with them, but I’m serious. I don’t remember. I’m caught up in my head most of the time, and it’s not the best place to be right now.
“You know we play San Diego State in September,” Tony says. “You can see her then too.”
“It’s great that they’re on the schedule,” Eli says with an enthusiastic nod. “When football season’s over, I’ll be able to see her even more.”
“Then maybe you won’t be such a pouty baby,” I tell him.
He glares. “Whatever. You don’t get it.”
I ignore Eli’s anger toward me because I know he’s right. I don’t get it. I’m not in a relationship. Don’t have a girl that means that much to me—with the exception of Ellie, and she’s mad at me so I blew that. I don’t really have many people that mean that much to me in general, besides the ones who are sitting at this table.
A server shows up with our food and we dig in, conversation forgotten as we each devour a plate full of tacos.
“What’s up with Ellie anyway?” Caleb asks when he’s on his last taco and finally comes up for air. “Haven’t seen her much lately.”
At least I’m not the only one.
“She’s around,” Tony says mysteriously, sending a meaningful look in Caleb’s direction.
Caleb snaps his lips shut and shoves his last taco into his mouth.
And that’s it. That’s all they’ve got on that particular topic.
Ellie is around…where? What’s she doing? Who is she hanging out with? How are her classes? Does she like Fresno State? Who is she living with? Is she at the dorms? Is she happy? Has she made any new friends?
My questions are endless because I’m genuinely curious. I miss her. I miss her more than I want to admit. She was my touchstone throughout the summer. The one constant I could count on. I kiss her once—and what a kiss, I still can’t stop thinking about it—and now she’s gone. I fucked up.
What else is new?