Three was a good number of people.
“Hey, do you want a beer?” Ty moved into his tiny kitchen.
Michael wanted something so much more intoxicating than beer. He wanted to stop overthinking every second of his life and live for one night. “No. I want to watch you kiss her and then I want to watch as you undress her, and we’ll see where it goes from there.”
Lucy stopped, her eyes wide. “You want Ty to undress me?”
How had she thought this was going to go? He’d warned her he could be bossy. He might not be the Dom Stef was, but he liked to be in control in the bedroom. It was the one place he had been in control with…
No. She wasn’t going to ruin this night for him.
“Yes. I do. I want to sit here and watch as Ty takes off your clothes.” He shrugged out of his jacket and hung it on the peg by the door. The night had been cold, but he hadn’t felt the chill the way he normally did. He’d sat in the back of Ty’s Jeep and watched the two of them. There was a connection between them he would never truly understand, and yet they needed him. He’d had to ask, had to give them a way out, but he’d been surprised at how much he hadn’t wanted them to take it.
He wanted Lucy, and he liked having Ty around. They were almost too good to be true.
He’d learned it was dangerous to want things.
“Okay.” Lucy looked from Ty and back to Michael. “I’m nervous but I want this. I just think we should talk about it.”
“Talk about the sex?” Michael asked.
“I guess talk about what the sex means,” Lucy explained.
Ty moved in behind her, putting his hands on her shoulders. “It means everything to me.”
She turned slightly and gave Ty a smile. “I know. It means the same to me. But what if…what if it isn’t good?”
He knew exactly what she was saying and what she wasn’t saying. What if I’m not good? What if I’m not enough? Ty was behind her so Michael moved in front of her. “It will be good, Lucy. And when we do it again, it’ll be better. It is meaningful to me, but I meant what I said before.”
She looked up at him, those eyes big and guileless. “You can’t love me.”
“It’s not because you’re not loveable.” His heart actually hurt at the thought that she might misunderstand him. “You are worthy of every bit of love you get. Ty can love you. I can worship you. I can protect you.”
“But you’ll never tell me you love me.”
He couldn’t. He couldn’t even think the words. “No.”
Lucy put her hands on the sides of his face. “All right. You’ve told me what I need to hear. I’m going into this with my eyes open. You won’t love me and you won’t stay with us.”
“I didn’t say that.” The words were out before he could think to hold them in. They were true. He wasn’t sure how to make her understand that the part of him that could love had been burned away. “I don’t know if I’m staying but as long as I’m here, as long as this works, I’d like to be a part of it.”
“Okay.” Her hand stroked along his cheek, tracing the line of his jaw.
His heart clenched in his chest. He didn’t want to hurt her. She was so beautiful, and he’d seen how kind she was. She didn’t deserve the heartache he could bring her. “Maybe you should think about this a little more.”
She shook her head. “I don’t need to. I think too much, and Ty sometimes doesn’t think at all.”
“I think,” Ty countered.
“No. You react. You came home and things weren’t perfect, and after saving yourself for me, you decided if you couldn’t have me, you would drown yourself in most of Southern Colorado,” she replied, not unkindly. “And then when I was available again, you were too ashamed because you’d gotten a bad reputation. Not once did you think I’ll sit down with Lucy and tell her how I feel and we’ll figure this thing out together. Yesterday when you walked in on us, did you think or react?”
“I thought about how mad I was,” Ty said with a chuckle, his hand moving Lucy’s long hair to the side so he could kiss her neck. “And then I reacted like a butthead.”
Sometimes it was easy to remember these two had known each other since they were little kids. It was easy to feel like he was the outsider, but one they needed. He wasn’t sure what Ty would have done if he wasn’t around. Perhaps he would have tried to move their relationship forward or he might have stayed back in the shadows, worried he would lose her.