“It’s crazy that we’re all adults now,” she said softly. “God willing, soon we’ll all have real jobs with benefits and vacation days. I’ve got two interviews lined up next week and I’m hoping one of them pans out.”
Chloe had earned her education degree with a minor in art education, so I knew she was hoping to get into the local primary school.
“I’ve got my first interview at Bliss Elementary next Wednesday to takeover for the retiring kindergarten teacher. My other interview is on Thursday with Early Intervention Services to be an art therapist.”
“I’m surprised that you sound more excited about the early intervention place than you do about Bliss Elementary.”
A small smile spread across her face. “You’re very observant. After reading the mission statement for EIS, I’ve really felt that’s where I can make the biggest difference. I’d make less at EIS, but I feel drawn to it anyway. I think that’s because I understand all too well how hard it is for children to communicate verbally when they’re overwhelmed.”
As she finished speaking she turned and looked away. I could tell she was nervous by the way she lifted the diamond encrusted gold heart necklace she’d worn since her sixteenth birthday and began moving it side to side on the chain by the bottom of the heart.
The necklace was a reminder of how complicated our relationship had always been. She’d been right earlier when she’d commented on the fact that I’d always saved my money. One of the few things I’d spent real money on as a teen was the necklace. For her, I hadn’t thought twice about taking the short drive to Boston to drop four hundred and fifty dollars on a necklace. My mom tried to tell me I was going overboard, but I couldn’t be talked out of it. I wanted the girl I loved to have something special and since it was my money, I could spend it as I saw fit.
I’d never forgotten the expression of surprise on Chloe’s face the night of her family party when she’d picked up the velvet box and realized my name was on the tag tucked under the white satin bow. She’d thanked me as she always did whenever we exchanged gifts, but she didn't put it on while I was there. I’d worried she’d toss the necklace into her jewelry box and forget about it. Instead, I noticed she wore it to school that Monday. As far as I could tell, she rarely took it off. I had, in fact, not seen her without it on since the first day I realized she was wearing it.
“What’s going through your head right now?”
She slid the heart back and forth on the chain a bit faster as she turned her head to meet my eyes. “I can’t stop thinking about everything Aria said.”
I nodded my understanding. “I get it, since I’ve thought about it at some point every single day since I had that first reading when I was thirteen.”
She winced and looked away. “Thirteen wasn’t a great year for us,” she muttered.
“We had our first kiss that year,” I reminded her.
She was blushing when she looked back at me “I’m surprised you didn’t hate me after that.”
“I wasn’t mad, Chlo. To be honest, I was something more like devastated. I only ever wanted you to care about me the way I cared about you.”
Her lower lip began to tremble as she reached out and took my hand in hers. “I did and I do. I was always just… too scared to show it.”
“What scared you?”
I needed her to confide in me even though I had two reasons for believing I knew the answer. The first was that I’d known Chloe forever, which meant I knew which landmines to steer clear of. The second was that I’d had a long time to think about all the things Aria said to me in my first reading. She pretended she was okay but I knew what hurt Chloe the most in the world was her mother.
“At first I couldn’t let you in because I was so damn jealous of you.”
Aria had said as much years ago, but I’d never allowed myself to believe it because it never made sense to me. Of the two of us, Chloe was the smarter one. Always. I wasn’t an idiot, but she’d gotten scholarships to cover all four years of college, both local and the university. I’d gotten some scholarship money but it damn sure hadn’t been a full ride.
Needing an explanation, I prodded her. “Jealous?”
“Because you had a mom—and not just any mom, either. The depth of Maddie’s love for you is almost tangible. If she needed to, she’d move mountains for you. Looking back, I realize it was dumb to be mad at you simply because you were lucky enough to have a mother who adored you, but sometimes anger isn’t rational. That’s especially true for children. I was just a kid who wanted my mom. The problem was that she didn’t want me. I couldn’t take that anger out on my dad because I was afraid he’d leave me, too. I didn’t know how to deal with what happened, so I channeled all of my confusion on you.”