“Will she be okay?” I asked.
Aria smiled and patted me on the shoulder. “Of course she will. I have to say, it’s truly touching that you’re always more concerned about her than you are yourself. She’s very lucky to have you.”
The thing was, she had me but she didn’t have me, because she wouldn’t let me in. If stepping back for two years would change that, I had no choice but to keep my mouth shut.
2
Chloe, Two years later
It was as if I’d never left. Granted I’d only been away from Bliss for two years—and had only gone three hundred miles away at that—but it had felt like longer. After my conversation with Aria I’d chosen to earn my bachelor’s degree in New York. Since I’d rented an off-campus apartment year round, I’d only come home twice during the previous two years—both times for Christmas. New York City rent was no joke—even with three roommates—so I’d gotten a part-time job the first week I got into town.
At first, being away felt like an adventure, but within two months I’d begun to develop a wicked case of homesickness. Madam Aria’s dire warning and the fact that my waitressing job didn’t approve frequent days off were the only things that kept me from coming home as often as possible.
I wasn’t certain Aria’s advice would mean anything in my life long term, but I had to admit that living in New York City had changed me for the better. That being said, I was more than ready to be back in my hometown. Lately, the yearning I had to be back had morphed into a physical ache. I’d tried to see the beauty in the city that my mother had—she’d basically left me for it, after all—but while I liked New York, I never felt the die-hard love. Not the way I did for Bliss.
I chuckled to myself as I recalled how vociferously I’d fought against leaving the only home I’d ever had before Dad and I moved to Bliss. Then again, that had mostly been down to my anger and confusion about the fact that my mother had left us. I was sure if we stayed in the exact house we’d been in when she packed up and left, she’d know just where to return to.
I shook off thoughts of my long-gone mother as I pulled into the driveway of the pale blue Cape Cod house Dad bought when we’d moved to Bliss. I smiled when I saw him sitting on the front porch waiting for me. He grinned as he hurried toward my car while I parked and got out.
“You’re finally home!” he said as he pulled me into one of his bear hugs.
I was ninety minutes later than anticipated because I’d gotten stuck in two separate gaper delays on the highway due to accidents. Thus, I was road weary and feeling pretty grungy. When we finished hugging he told me to take my suitcase inside and leave the rest to him while I got ready for dinner. I’d normally have helped him unload the car but he was right—I was meeting Caroline, my best friend since kindergarten, at Olive Garden. If I didn’t hustle into the shower I’d never be ready in time. After I grabbed my rolling suitcase I dropped a kiss on his cheek and hurried into the house.
Aside from the fact that my room had been dusted and vacuumed, everything was just as I’d left it five months prior when I’d been home for Christmas. My pale aqua walls and white furniture were a welcome sight. New York City apartments were the size of mousetraps, so other than my two Christmas trips home I’d spent the previous twenty-one months sleeping on a twin-sized mattress. Sleeping on such a tiny bed had given me a new appreciation for the full-sized mattress in my home bedroom.
I made quick work of getting my suitcase open so I could take out a bra, underwear, and my purple chenille robe before I headed across the hall to the bathroom. After sharing one teeny-tiny bathroom with three other girls I was ecstatic to be home where I had my very own. Since I was running late there was no time to spare, so I hurried through my shower at high speed.
Back in my room I hurriedly dried my hair. I ignored the nervous feeling in my stomach as I thought about the fact that it was more likely than not that I’d be running across Jackson Howell sooner or later. Bliss was a small town and our families were so closely aligned that there was no way to avoid it. I winced as I brushed my hair a bit too aggressively as thoughts of too-hot-for-his-own-good Jackson went through my head.
I’d grown up a lot over the course of the previous two years—and he probably had, too. It was time to put the over-the-top nature of our relationship behind us. I’d matured enough while I was gone to be able to admit that the core of our issues started with me, but that didn’t mean Jax wasn’t responsible for some of the blame. He’d never thought up a practical joke he didn’t want to carry out, and when it came to him I was often saltier than the Dead Sea. At least I had been. We were both older now, grown up. I was going to do whatever I had to address the feelings I had for him in a calm and even manor. I had to. I’d missed him like he was an extension of me—like a phantom limb. Sometimes the pain of missing him had been so extreme that I’d come close to packing it in to return to Bliss. Only Aria’s insistence that I needed the time away kept me in New York. Now that I was back I was hoping to explore the way I felt about Jax—if he was open to it. Only time would tell.