He’d stripped and stepped into the shower to wash the blood off him, not caring if the water was hot or cold. In the end, his knees had given out and he was left seated under the cool spray, sobbing uncontrollably What if he’d failed? He wasn’t trained for those kinds of medical procedures. What if Caelan wasn’t able to heal Eno properly? He could lose him.
The weight of all the years of watching him and never touching him, never holding him in his arms, came crashing down on his head. Even though they’d only recently come together, Rayne felt like Eno was part of his soul. He was the air in his lungs, the beat of his heart. If Eno suddenly wasn’t there at his side, how could he possibly go on?
But he had to pull himself together for Caelan. His prince, his king, couldn’t know that he was falling apart on the inside. He would be utterly useless to the crown, to the people of Erya. If Caelan discovered he was losing his mind with worry over Eno, he would become distracted as well; he might even remove one or both of them from their job to keep them both safe. This couldn’t happen.
After cursing himself, his lack of discipline, and even his weak heart, Rayne pushed to his feet and finished washing. The stern pep talk lasted until he stepped out of the shower and gazed at his reflection. It had been too long since they’d had a good night’s rest. So much running and looking over their shoulders. That was all this lapse had to be. Exhaustion.
There was a knock on the door and Rayne jerked upright, his hand immediately going to the towel wrapped around his waist. “Yes?”
The door opened and Caelan leaned against the frame, appearing utterly drained. “He’s okay,” he murmured in a soft voice. “I managed to heal him enough that he has most of his mobility and some light tenderness. He’ll be able to move tomorrow, but it would be best if we try to avoid some fights if we can.”
“Thank you, Cael.”
“What about you?” The prince jerked his chin toward Rayne, and he quickly looked away. He was standing there, practically naked in front of him; there was no hiding the assortment of bruises and hastily stitched up cuts that he’d sustained in the past couple of days. Those were all on top of the bruises he’d acquired while in Caspagir. His entire body felt like one enormous aching wound.
“I’m fine.”
“You’re not fine. You look like shit,” Caelan snapped. He started to reach for Rayne, but Rayne caught him by the wrist, keeping him from touching him.
“Don’t. I know I look bad, but no worse than you or Drayce. The wounds are all superficial and healing fine on their own.”
“But I can help.”
“You also look as if you’re about to fall over from exhaustion. Healing takes too much out of you.” He tightened his fingers on Caelan’s wrist and locked eyes with him. “We’ve been given this gift from the Goddess of Life, and we need to use it wisely.”
Caelan sighed heavily and nodded. Rayne released his wrist, his heart aching for his prince. Caelan could always be a little distant and cold toward those people he didn’t know, but when he chose you to be his friend, he cared with all of his heart. It hurt him to see his friends in pain and he would do anything to help them, even to the point of putting his own life in danger.
And it was Rayne’s job to make sure Caelan didn’t make sacrifices like that. Caelan had to think about what was best for all of his kingdom, not just the people he loved.
Rayne was terrified that one day, he’d have to force Caelan into sacrificing Eno for the safety of the kingdom. Could he even do that?
His mind shied away from the thought, and he focused on Caelan’s weariness. That was a much safer topic. “Get some rest, Cael. I’ll see what I can pull together for a meal in the kitchen.”
The prince smirked. “I think you should also know that Drayce and Eno are currently debating a new plan of action for us.”
Rayne closed his eyes and softly groaned. That did not bode well for any of them. “Could they not take one night to simply sleep?”
“To make matter worse, Drayce is making more sense than Eno right now.”
“Let me get dressed. I’ll be out in two minutes.”
Caelan’s snicker was cut off as he shut the door. Rayne grabbed up his filthy clothes and pulled them back on. He had no other choice for now. And it didn’t matter. If Drayce was talking sense, either Eno was in more pain than Caelan knew, or they’d all lost their minds. Rayne was not about to let Drayce make plans for them.